DR. WALLACE: I play tennis with a group that's known as a "travel" tennis team that plays competitively all year. I'm a high school student and of course I play for my girls' high school tennis team, but I also play tennis year-round with this travel ball group.

For the most part, it's worth my time and effort as I do get customized instruction and am able to play all year. However, there is a problem I'd like to run by you. There is one player on our team who, although she has moderate talent, doesn't seem to take travel tennis seriously. She's always goofing off, telling jokes or stories while we are trying to concentrate during practice sessions. She will also sometimes hit the ball wildly in different directions on purpose as a form of goofing off.

What can I do about this? Several times, I've come close to walking up to her and saying something to her, but I don't want to become the object of her wrath or harassment, since I know if I say something, she'll focus more on goofing off towards me than anyone else. — I Take My Tennis Seriously, via email

I TAKE MY TENNIS SERIOUSLY: The travel circuit of all sports that high school students and youngsters of various ages participate in is expensive! There's no doubt that your family is paying for your special instruction and whoever is running the school or group is actually running a small business.

You could say something to your parents and have them intervene on your behalf, but this particular situation you've described presents you an opportunity to step up for yourself and to grow in a new way as well.

Mention to the leader or organizer of your group in a private discussion exactly what is going on. Let this person know that the behavior that has gone unchecked is counterproductive to serious tennis players like yourself. Then go on to mention that you fully understand that the person goofing off is also a paying client, so you understand why a certain amount of leeway may be given. But remind this person that you are also a paying client and that far more of their revenue streams come from serious players than those who don't seem to care whether they are there or not.

Smile and conclude by saying you just want to focus on developing your skills as much as you can, and to do so with as little interruption or distraction as possible. Thank the person for their time and immediately shake hands and walk away. There's a high probability that something will begin to change, and if not, then explain to your parents what steps you took as an interim step first.

SHOULD I WARN MY PARENTS THAT THEY WON'T GET ALONG?

DR. WALLACE: My parents have invited some relatives from Europe to visit our family over the Memorial Day weekend and a few days beyond. My father's side of the family is mainly Italian and my mother's side is French. We are going to do some sightseeing, camping, boating and fishing with all of these relatives together in a group with our family.

A close friend of mine at school told me that she thought it wasn't a good idea. She explained that Italian people and French people generally don't get along with each other in Europe, so it's not a good idea to bring them together and make them spend a lot of time together with our family here in America. Based on this information, do you think I should say something carefully to my parents about this? — I Might Need to Warn Them, via email

I MIGHT NEED TO WARN THEM: Absolutely do not say anything to anyone! Your friend is not only misguided, but her comments are in very poor taste. People of all cultures around the world can choose to get along with whoever they would like, and to assume otherwise about strangers sounds like inane meddling to me.

Not only are both families European, but they are also visiting blood relatives! They should be excited to say hello to each other and to engage in shared experiences with what sounds like an excellent vacation idea.

There are times and places to make comments or to sound genuine warnings about certain situations, but this 100% is absolutely not one of them. Say nothing, and treat all of your visiting relatives with the utmost family friendship and respect.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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