DR. WALLACE: As a 21-year-old college student, I have many opportunities to drink alcohol, but I do so only on rare occasions, and even then, I do it in moderation only.

My uncle, my father's older brother, is staying with us for a week as our family's houseguest. My father works a lot of hours, but he has made it a point to spend time with his brother later in the evenings, and they have weekend plans to go fishing together as well.

This uncle knows I love sports and that I was a successful athlete in high school, even though I no longer play competitively. In the early afternoon today when I stopped by the house, my uncle asked me to go out to a sports bar with him to watch some games on the large TV there. Because we live on the West Coast, there are games that start early because some teams are playing on the East Coast on television.

Immediately he got a pitcher of beer and two glasses and poured some for me because he knows I'm 21. I carefully sipped just a little bit of beer but was cautious not to allow my glass to be refilled much at all. I made it through the evening on my own terms, but at the end of the night he told me how much fun he had talking to me and watching sports together, and that he wanted to do it a few more times this week!

Don't get me wrong, my uncle is a great guy and knows a lot about sports and life, and he's really fun to hang out with. It's just that I don't want to be drinking beer all week with him. What should I do here? Maybe I tell him I'm too busy to hang out? He's definitely planning to be drinking each night that he's watching sports. — Facing Uncle Pressure, via email

FACING UNCLE PRESSURE: You absolutely have time to hang out with him, correct? You're thinking about telling him that you're too busy, but that's really just an excuse to avoid what is an uncomfortable situation for you.

The best solution is to be completely honest with your uncle and let him know that you take an odd drink here and there but don't want to drink multiple days during the week so you can stay sharp keep on top of your busy academic schedule.

This type of response would not only be true but get your point across diplomatically. Once you get over the initial discomfort of mentioning this to your uncle, you can enthusiastically tell him that you're up to watch a few more games with him while he's in town. I trust he'll understand completely.

THESE GUYS ARE SMART BUT UNSAVORY AT TIMES

DR. WALLACE: I'm two years out of high school, and a guy who works at a big industrial firm. I do warehousing and materials handling work at a good company that pays well and has excellent benefits.

Recently our manager told us that we would be working with a team from another company from the northern part of our state that does consulting and efficiency training. This started recently, and I can see for sure that there's a lot we can learn from the representatives of this other company.

But the negative factor is that the specific employees working with us are pretty unsavory, as they say things we would never be allowed to say in our workplace, and there are a few times each day when it's uncomfortable for me. Our company made a really big deal out of how important it was that we absorb all the training to our very best capacity, since they'll only be here for a few more weeks.

Should I focus just on the work and perhaps not say anything to anyone at my company? I'm not the only one who hears and experiences some uncomfortable comments. — They're Knowledgeable Yet Unsavory, via email

THEY'RE KNOWLEDGEABLE YET UNSAVORY: Since no one has spoken up yet, the representatives doing this training likely feel they can say what they want with impunity. It's great that they really know their technical business and can help you and your fellow employees with the transfer of specific, important knowledge. But their unprofessionalism definitely is an issue you would be better off avoiding, if possible.

A starting strategy to combat this issue, or at least redirect or reduce it, would be to always have a comment or question loaded in your mind. By this, I'm suggesting that you have a good question or comment that you hold back but keep ready as the training and important transfer of information is ongoing during your day. Then, if and when an unrelated comment or unsavory comment is uttered, don't react to it at all and immediately drop your good question or comment specifically about the work and don't even flinch. Do this immediately and quickly without missing a beat — as if you never even heard the lousy comment! That will redirect the conversation to relate to directly to what you're being taught.

Keep doing this repeatedly each day as necessary. Soon individuals drifting off topic will get the message and hopefully cease with their detrimental comments that have nothing to do with the job at hand.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: BENCE BOROS at Unsplash