DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl, and I've already made my college plans. I'm very mature for my age, but unfortunately for me, I have a very immature and snoopy 12-year-old brother who continues to amaze me at how much he likes disrupting my life.

Last weekend a close girlfriend of mine visited our family house, and we walked far into our backyard lawn, 30 yards away from our house. We were having a private conversation about several topics that we would never have in front of a 12-year-old. But guess what? Apparently my 12-year-old brother was hiding in the trees at the far corner of our backyard and therefore not visible to my friend or me. He was literally 40 yards away from our house but only 10 yards away from the conversation my friend and I were having.

I know it was him because I heard some things later from a boy who is my brother's best friend's older brother! This older brother is a decent guy, and when he saw me at school, he immediately rushed up to me to warn me about what he had overheard his little brother talking about. That brother confirmed that my brother overheard our conversation.

I won't go into the details, and I don't want to go to my parents with this because I'm not in any hurry to have the conversation made public, if you understand my perspective. What can I do to teach my younger brother a lesson, to get my revenge on him, and to ensure something like this never happens again? — Little Brother Is a Despicable Spy, via email

LITTLE BROTHER IS A DESPICABLE SPY: If I were you, I wouldn't spend two seconds thinking about getting revenge on your little brother or teaching him any sort of lesson that from your perspective would be punitive and unsavory for him.

Seeking revenge or meting out "lessons" will only exacerbate your problem. Your goal is to not have what your brother overheard repeated to your family, even though some others at your school likely now know the content.

Resolve to let go of revenge and focus instead on how you can ensure this never happens again. That is the area you should spend quite a while thinking about. You can do two things in the future much better. First, be cautious what you say out loud to anyone in any situation. Second, absolutely do not say anything inside your family home or in its adjacent surroundings that you don't want overheard. You've learned a tough lesson the hard way, but the good news is that you can resolve to control yourself such that you don't repeat this mistake.

NO PROOF OR DETAILS MEANS NO CONFRONTATION

DR. WALLACE: My best girlfriend has never liked my current boyfriend. I've been dating this guy for six months now, and she's made it a constant mission of hers to try to ensnare my boyfriend engaging in some bad behavior or doing something she can "tattle" to me about.

The other day she explained a situation that she claims to have witnessed, and she went into great detail about exactly what he said and did. But when I questioned her about it to learn more, I asked exactly what time of day this happened, at what location and who else might've been around, and she suddenly turned very hazy and started stammering with her answers.

I suggested that she was perhaps making this all up, but she doubled down and claimed it was all true! Should I confront my boyfriend about these things that she was telling me? — My Friend Is a Busybody, via email

MY FRIEND IS A BUSYBODY: It's likely that you confronting your boyfriend is exactly what your "friend" actually wants! Confronting him could lead to relationship strife, and she perhaps sees this as an avenue to getting more free time to spend with you.

My advice would be not to take the bait but rather to simply know what was said and keep your eyes and ears open to see if you ever hear anything that could even remotely corroborate her story. But if nothing comes along, you're far better to say nothing to your boyfriend about unsubstantiated, unproved rumors coming from a source likely fostering an ulterior motive. With friends like this, you certainly don't need enemies.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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