DR. WALLACE: I'm a female college student, and I've got two really close girlfriends. One of them in particular always wants to go shopping with me, especially when I truly need a new garment or accessory for an event or appointment I'll be attending in the near future.

But I run into a problem because this particular girl will cancel with me, sometimes on short notice, and then beg me to wait until the next day to go on the shopping trip so she can attend as well. I've tried doing this a few times with various results. Once she did attend the next day, and I was still able to make my purchases on time, but another time I couldn't wait after she canceled multiple times, so I had to go shopping on my own to get what I needed.

Of course, once she found out, I went shopping on my own, she pouted for over a week every time she saw me. How can I handle a friend like this, someone who is a good friend but very unreliable about keeping appointments to go shopping? Sometimes I need something for a job interview or something else important to me and I simply can't wait. — She Begs Me to Wait for Her, via email

SHE BEGS ME TO WAIT FOR HER: You did the right thing by finally doing your shopping in a timely fashion to meet your own personal needs. Your friend must understand that you have your own set of responsibilities and that you'll be more than happy to go with her as long as you're able to do it on the timeline that meets your needs.

If in the future she cancels multiple times, or you feel like you need to go shopping on your own without her, let her know in advance that you'll take a few pictures and text them to her during your shopping trip. Let her know that if there's anything she wants you to pick up for her, you'll be happy to do it as long as it's within your budget.

You can bring her a receipt, and she can pay you back later if you pick up something for her on a trip that she can't attend. To me, this seems to be going above and beyond to accommodate her, and if she can't accept that, you just need to let her pout on her own and not worry about it.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE GOSSIP

DR. WALLACE: I'm a well-known senior at my high school, and I do enjoy a lot of the benefits of being well known by almost everyone on campus. However, there are some drawbacks to this as well.

Because I'm so well known, it seems like I'm highly visible all day long. If I happen to do something odd, make an offbeat comment to someone out loud, or be overheard saying something that may even be quite innocent, it always seems to come back around to me in a way that's not correct.

What can I do about this? I realize that because I'm a good athlete and play two sports plus have academic honors and a college scholarship lined up, people are going to be aware of what I'm doing. I don't mind this, but I do mind hearing things secondhand that got twisted out of context. — My Conversations Are Constantly Overheard, via email

MY CONVERSATIONS ARE CONSTANTLY OVERHEARD: Lighten up and don't worry about it! You're quite fortunate that you're athletically and academically blessed. I fully realize that you still work very hard at practicing your sports, working out and developing strength and quickness, and studying hard to do well in school. All these are great things, and since you have so many things going positively for you, why worry about what anyone else says?

If you do hear a comment from someone that is obviously incorrect, don't get mad at all. Simply laugh, give the correct context and say how crazy it is that things get twisted around through the grapevine! The less you worry about it, the better you'll feel, and the less impact any incorrect comments or statements will have. Laughing them off lessens any impact and should make you feel more relaxed, so give it a try.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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