DR. WALLACE: I am the mother of a daughter who is a freshman in high school. The first half of the school year, she apparently didn't socialize much, but she's made up for lost time recently.

She apparently has one or two fairly close friends, but perhaps seven or eight what she calls "casual friends." I'm pretty familiar with her two closest friends, and I have no problem with their character, mindsets and personalities.

However, two of her casual friends occasionally stop by our house, and during a few conversations, words were used occasionally that perked up my ears. My aim is to be a conscientious mother who is not overbearing, but at the same time I don't want my daughter exposed to certain things other acquaintances of hers may casually bring up in conversation. Is there anything logical I can do about this? My daughter often gets defensive if I question her about her friends in even the slightest way. — A Concerned Mother, via email

A CONCERNED MOTHER: Indeed, it is often said that parents shouldn't choose friends for their teenagers, but always remember you retain veto power over casual friends who may make you uncomfortable for valid reasons in your eyes.

You don't need to fly away from your parental responsibilities, so I suggest you sit your daughter down and explain calmly and carefully exactly why you're not comfortable with a few of the conversations and individuals you've come into contact with. At all times, remember that she will easily be able to interact with these same casual friends on campus away from your earshot.

This means she's likely to hear similar conversations again, so it's your logic and reasoning as to why it's not appropriate that needs to be in the back of her mind.

Parenting is indeed a difficult art, but never feel that you have to stand down entirely. Calmly explain your side of the story and the reasons why you feel the way you do, give your daughter a big hug and ask her if she understands that your focus is looking out for her well-being.

AFTER ALL OF THAT, HE'S VACANT!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who's a junior in high school, and a certain guy on our campus who's pretty well known for playing sports has been asking me out on a date since the second week the school year started.

For various reasons, I've always declined his offers, sometimes because I was dating someone else. This didn't seem to slow him down at all. Every chance he got, whenever he crossed my path, he took a few minutes to chat me up and ask me how I've been doing and conclude our five-to-10-minute conversations by bluntly asking me out on a date. It never happened because the timing was never right for me.

Well, guess what finally happened? I found myself in the right frame of mind, and in the right spot in my life to accept his offer to take me out on a date last week.

Not only did we go out on that date, but two more dates soon followed. We had a good time on all the dates, had a lot of laughs and enjoyed spending time together.

Then I literally never heard from him again! Not only has he not contacted me, but when I sent him a text three days ago, asking him how he was doing, he never replied.

For a guy who pushed so hard to get me to go out on a date, and then enjoyed three excellent dates within one week, I find his disappearance quite odd. He's not dating anyone else to my knowledge, and I've asked around to a couple of friends who know these things. And he's also apparently made sure we don't cross paths on campus, since I haven't seen him around anywhere either, although I know he is attending all his classes.

What do you make of this situation? And should I just forget about him entirely or wait around for a while to see if he finally gets back in touch? — Lots of Chasing, Only a Week of Dating, via email

LOTS OF CHASING, ONLY A WEEK OF DATING: Apparently your friend is the type who enjoys the chase much more than steadily dating a quality person.

It's possible his ego is inflated by the number of dating partners he has rather than finding and sustaining a quality relationship.

You don't have to give up on him entirely, but my advice would be to immediately accept other date opportunities you find interesting. And if he does finally come back around sometime and you find yourself again interested, perhaps wink at him and tell him it's going to take much more than one measly request for you to go out on a date with him again.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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