DR. WALLACE: My older sister is 22 and just had her first baby! I'm 17 and really close to my sister, so she allowed me to come into the hospital room with her to see her newborn baby. Her baby is beautiful, but unfortunately I noticed he had a bright red birthmark on his forehead.
I asked my sister about this, and she told me that she thought it might go away in a few weeks. Is that true? I ask because I've seen a few other kids when I was in elementary school who had similar marks that were even the same color and obviously hadn't gone away. — My Sister Is a New Mother, via email
MY SISTER IS A NEW MOTHER: These types of birthmarks are more common than people may think, and they generally don't cause any harm to the child other than being less than desirable aesthetically.
Fortunately, there are some possible treatments that have recently been developed that you could study and encourage your sister to look into if this is something she's interested in. However, take care not to express your opinion to her at this early stage when she's overjoyed and focusing on being a new mother right after the birth of her precious child.
Modern science is constantly improving, and this is definitely one of the areas where I've seen improvements, especially in the last few years. There are also excellent cosmetics available for adults who wish to cover up these reddish-colored patches, especially those that would otherwise be visible on the face.
Your big sister will likely have her hands full for several months, so do your best to be supportive of her and realize that there's plenty of time for her to look into this issue.
I'LL FEEL GUILTY IF I MOVE OUT OF DAD'S HOUSE
DR. WALLACE: My mom and dad divorced about seven years ago, and my mom moved out of state with her biological son from her first marriage. I ended up living with my father and have only brief contacts a few times a year with my mother.
She now lives over 700 miles away, and apparently my parents don't communicate with each other at all anymore.
My father is a really good guy and has provided a great home for me ever since the divorce. I did really well in high school, and now I'm in my second year of college. I've lived at home with him throughout, done a lot of chores around the house and helped him with meals, laundry and everything else.
My first year of college he helped me with my books, but this year I have a good part-time job so I'm paying my own way. A close girlfriend of mine wants me to move into an apartment with her, and I also think it's a good idea.
My father is not thrilled because he realizes he'll be missing all my help around the house plus being able to see me daily. Part of me wants to be loyal to my father and stay with him, but another part of me wants to be independent and move into the exciting next phase of my life by moving out and living on my own for the first time.
What do you feel is appropriate in this situation, and what can I do about it? — Facing a Difficult Decision, via email
FACING A DIFFICULT DECISION: I feel you should follow your heart and plan to move out with your girlfriend when the timing is right. However, there are several things you can do to help your father out during this transitional period.
First, give him as much notice as possible so he can mentally adjust, and do all you can to leave the house in as pristine condition as you possibly can.
Next, it would be great if you and your father could set one night a week where you come home, make a meal and share it with him. Even just one night a week will give him something great to look forward to, and you'll benefit from it as well, as this will help to ease your mind about moving out of the house.
Finally, do your best to look around and see if you can find a quality housekeeper at a reasonable price and even interview a few suitable individuals in that regard. Then when you have the one you feel is best, you could introduce that person to your father and suggest this may be a good addition to help him with his household responsibilities.
The key on your end is communication and letting your father know that even though you're moving out of the house, you'll always be his daughter, will always love and care deeply for him, and will definitely be around on a regular basis.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Omar Lopez at Unsplash
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