DR. WALLACE: I'm the oldest of two daughters, and we are being raised by our single mom. I've always wanted to go out on dates, but my mom told me when I was younger that I had to be 16 first. Once I got close to turning 15 1/2, I explained to my mom that those six months weren't going to make that much difference. First she said no, but eventually, I got her to agree to let me start dating at the age of 15 1/2!

She did tell me that I would have to tell her about my date when I got home. I thought this meant she would just ask me where we went and if it was fun or not.

But now that I've been out on four dates, my mom literally spends a full half-hour grilling me about every detail of every date! Of course she wanted to know where I was and what we talked about, but also if the boy tried to put his arm around me or kiss me and all kinds of things like that.

The last time we had a conversation about one of my dates it was so uncomfortable that I kind of didn't want to go out on another date. What can I do about this? I'm a good kid, but my mother interrogates me like the police interrogate a suspect in a crime. Help! — It's Hardly Worth it Anymore, via email

IT'S HARDLY WORTH IT ANYMORE: I guess this may go down as a case of "be careful what you wish for!" You were successful in convincing your mother to move up the timing of your dating career, but you've encountered her desire to have deep oversight of you, especially at your tender age.

There is a bright side to this, however. Your mother is starting to build a routine with her questions, so you already know roughly what she's going to ask you. Always answer her truthfully, and relax and realize that with each successful date, she's going to build more trust in you. By the time you're 16 or 16 1/2, these conversations should be much more comfortable and routine.

You might even throw in a wild card like telling your mom after your next date that you appreciate how much she cares about you. Tell her that you appreciate being allowed to date before you're 16 and you understand she's only looking out for you. This type of surprise answer may help strengthen the bond between the two of you and even streamline further post-date discussions.

This is not a bad thing if you approach it properly and in context. The good news is you're getting valuable dating experience six full months ahead of when you originally thought you would be!

HE WENT FROM ZERO TO 20 A WEEK!

DR. WALLACE: I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year, and we're both college students. I'm roughly 19 1/2 years old, and my boyfriend just turned 21 last month.

Neither one of us drank alcohol during our relationship until he turned 21. He told me on his birthday that since he was now legal, he wanted to try a few drinks here and there just to see what it was like. He also promised me would go back to abstaining from alcohol the way he had done his entire life before that fateful birthday.

Well, the odd drink here and there has turned into him drinking five to six days a week. On most days, he has a minimum of two drinks — and sometimes up to four or five! He says he likes how it makes him feel and that it relaxes him.

What do you make of this? How can a guy who never took a drink before suddenly be consuming so much alcohol? At least he's been responsible in that he does not drink and drive, but to say the least, I'm not pleased with this development. Do you think I can get him to quit before it becomes a serious problem, or is he already hooked? — Disappointed With This Development, via email

DISAPPOINTED WITH HIS DEVELOPMENT: You can certainly encourage him to slow down and take an immediate break rather than continuing to build what may be unhealthy habits for him over the long term.

Instead of requesting that he stop cold turkey, encourage him to slow down to just one drink per weekend day and see if he will commit to that. I suggest approaching him with encouragement and stressing the health and fitness benefits of minimal to no drinking, rather than talking down to him about the potential destructive nature alcohol could have on his body and life.

Remind him that he did just fine for 21 years without touching any alcohol at all.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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