DR. WALLACE: My next-door neighbor told me that she really enjoys writing to convicts at the state prison about two hours from our hometown. She says they love to receive letters from her and that they flirt with her a lot since they are lonely in prison. She tells me this gives her a great sense of empowerment, and she even puts perfume on her letters before she mails them!

She wants me to start writing to another prisoner who is a friend of the guy she regularly writes to. I told her I wasn't sure about this, but I'd think about it. Then at home I happened to mention this to my mother, and she went ballistic! She said writing to a stranger who is a prisoner and providing our home address as the return address is unwise and unsafe. I also think my mother is going to tell my neighbor's mother about what she's doing since both of our moms are good friends.

This means the girl next door is going to be mad at me for a long time over this matter. I'm not like a good friend of hers or anything, but I don't want to have her dislike me either. And by the way, she's 15 and I'm 16. Is my mom doing the right thing here? — My Mom Is Shutting This Down, via email

MY MOM IS SHUTTING THIS DOWN: You did the right thing by mentioning this to your mother. You should respect your mother's position on this matter. She has your safety and best interests at heart, and she's within her rights to make this decision as your mother.

If one or both of you girls wish to write to prisoners in the future, you should wait until you're at least 18 years of age to do so, and even then, you may want to think carefully about who you wish to write to and why. Also consider that providing a physical street address for return letters may indeed be unsafe in some circumstances.

My advice would be that if you wish to help prisoners or do volunteer work, seek out a reputable organization that specializes in this mission rather than attempting to do so on your own.

I WAS SHOCKED TO LEARN HE'S MY COUSIN

DR. WALLACE: I was dating a boy who I knew via an introduction by mutual friends. One thing led to another, and we had physical relations together. I'm 18 now and he's 20 and to my horror I just discovered that we are either second or third cousins!

Two of my friends say I should give up this baby immediately since the child will likely suffer birth defects, but my gut feeling tells me that I should have this child and do my best to raise it to the best of my abilities. I have one other friend that tells me that at least we are not first cousins and that this makes a huge difference due to the extra familial distance between us.

Is there anything I can do during my pregnancy to lower the risk of birth defects due to my connection with a family member? Should I be super worried all the time? Some days my mind is literally racing, and my palms get sweaty because I don't know what to do. — Really Worried, via email

REALLY WORRIED: Visit your family physician and explain the situation to him or her. Physicians I have spoken to in the past tell me that the chances for birth defects are just slightly higher than average between distant cousins but remain relatively remote overall.

Please get a current opinion from your physician and openly ask any and all questions that you wish to have answered. I trust that after this meeting your worried mind will be eased a great deal.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Bru-nO at Pixabay