DR. WALLACE: I'm in a tight situation because the marijuana laws in our state allow the use of the substance by individuals that are 18 and older. I'm only 17 now, but my birthday will be here in less than a month. This means I will legally be able to use this substance if I choose to do so, but I come from a family that strictly prevents the use of any substances, including marijuana. And even if my parents didn't forbid it, I'd be unlikely to want to smoke it anyway.

Some of my friends who are underage are already using marijuana regularly, but I've been able to hold out thus far because I'm known as the type of person who doesn't break rules, so none of my friends have pushed me. But a month from now, I won't be able to fall back on the excuse I've been using for so long. How can I best resolve the conflict that is going to arise for me here soon? — Not Sure What to Do, via email

NOT SURE WHAT TO DO: Well, once you turn 18 you will legally become an adult, and this is a good time to make an adult decision. By this I mean that you should stand up for your beliefs and wishes and have the courage to explain to your friends that you are choosing not to use this substance at this time.

You can elaborate by telling them that if they truly are your friends, they won't peer pressure you, and they will respect your choices and decisions just the way you respect theirs.

MY FATHER DOES NOT ENCOURAGE MY DREAMS

DR. WALLACE: I'm only 14 but I already have a plan for my future, and I have big dreams in many areas of my life. My mom supports me even though she tells me my dreams and aspirations are hard to achieve. She encourages me to stick with them if I still feel they are right for me and I appreciate that.

But my father is another story. He feels my dreams are juvenile and unrealistic and he tells me often to come up with a more logical, achievable dream to follow. This also means I get no encouragement from him at all and even if I make a little progress toward my dream, he never shows any interest in it.

Who is right here, my mom or my dad? Should I continue to follow my dream or give it up? — Mixed Parental Signals, via email

MIXED PARENTAL SIGNALS: I feel all young people should follow their dreams for as long as they wish to do so. This experience expands creativity, helps develop planning and scheduling skills and provides a great incentive to be disciplined enough to stick with something even though it is hard to do.

I also know that it is both normal and common for young people, especially teenagers, to have their dreams evolve and change, as they grow older. Due to this evolution, I feel children benefit from parental support rather than discouragement. Yes, many teen dreams are indeed long shots, but most dreams are for almost anyone of any age. To achieve a dream it usually takes dedication, hard work, a few good breaks and an ongoing, burning desire to achieve the goal. Working toward a dream is a good thing in my book, so I side with your mother on this issue.

I also feel that your father should be neutral rather than outright discouraging to you even though he feels your dreams are futile. Always remember that your dreams are YOUR dreams, not his or anyone else's dreams.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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