Her Instagram Obsession Is Too Much!

By Dr. Robert Wallace

April 18, 2022 6 min read

DR. WALLACE: My girlfriend is obsessed with social media. When we first started dating, it didn't bother me very much, and I even thought that it was cute that she would constantly take pictures of us and post them on her Instagram account.

Over time, however, this became increasingly more annoying, and I began to feel as though quite a bit of our time together began to revolve around her taking the "perfect" pictures of us and our dates together. She has a habit of taking up to three dozen individual photos of the same "scene" so that she can find the perfect one to post. Not only does it take a lot of time to take the photographs, but she also sometimes spends up to 15 additional minutes sorting through them and reviewing each one in great detail before posting it. She does this right in front of me in a restaurant or wherever we are!

It's really starting to bother me that we can't go out to dinner without her spending large chunks of the time photographing/editing/posting images on her phone. The worst part is that whenever I mention this habit to her, she gets extremely defensive and upset that I challenge her to stay in the moment. I don't want to continue to cause arguments, and I definitely don't want to jeopardize our relationship, but I don't know how to get over how much this behavior is beginning to irritate me. — Fed-Up Boyfriend, via email

FED-UP BOYFRIEND: I agree that posting images to Instragram can become an addictive behavior. A few snaps here and there would be fine, but to obsess over photographs to the point of disrupting the nature of your outings goes too far in my estimation.

Many individuals feel the need to "compete" with others who post various pictures of their own lives, outings and events. This is an endless and unwinnable endeavor since there will always be someone posting photographs while attending a truly special event or traveling in an exotic foreign country.

Your girlfriend knows how this makes you feel, but she persists anyhow. Focus on this element of her behavior and ask her if you can make adjustments to your own behavior that she might prefer. Look at this as an opportunity to "trade each other" some of each of your personal time toward the betterment of your relationship.

Suggest compromise here. Don't ask her to go "cold turkey" without any photos at all, but rather ask her to spend only three or four minutes taking photos when you're out, then request that she does her editing and posting after the two of you end your dates.

This way you can focus on time spent with each other, enjoying conversations and nice meals and/or fun outings whereby each of your primary focus can be placed upon the other person.

Hopefully she will understand and agree with you on this matter, and perhaps she can find a suitable compromise you can make on another topic that will please her as well. If the two of you can reduce the friction, you'll have more quality time together and your relationship will benefit. There's always time later to document fun times on the internet.

PLEASE SETTLE OUR DEBATE

DR. WALLACE: My friends and I have been engaged in a debate about academics and sports at our high school. We all attend a large school in a big city, and our particular high school has a long, rich history of success in athletics, especially football and basketball.

In fact, both our boys and girls basketball programs have won state championships in the past.

So, to settle our debate, what is more important, athletics (at the highest levels, like our school) or academics? I know you were a varsity basketball coach back in your day, so I think I know what your answer will be. — Curious Student, via email

CURIOUS STUDENT: The answer is 100% academics. The prime purpose of education is to provide each and every student with the best possible quality education in the classrooms. To accomplish this, schools work hard to hire and groom caring, compassionate and intelligent teachers to provide the very best essential learning environments possible.

From there, every other school activity, including athletics is very important too, but all are secondary to the foundation academics provide. School pride and spirit are often greatly enhanced by sports teams, especially the successful ones that achieve great heights. But simply participating in high school athletics is a big deal no matter the team or the overall win/loss results. Camaraderie, sportsmanship, shared sacrifice and team cooperation all provide great developmental opportunities beyond what is learned in the classrooms.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: solenfeyissa at Pixabay

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