DR. WALLACE: I'm writing to you today because my boyfriend's constant jealousy makes me think sometimes that I might want to break up with him someday. I've dated this guy for six months now, and I really like him when we both stay calm and when we are relaxed, and we get along great.

However, I have another guy who is just a friend, and I occasionally text him. Well, whenever my boyfriend notices this, he gets extremely jealous and upset, and his mood turns quite nasty.

My boyfriend then compulsively wants to know everything, like who the other guy is and how long I've known him, and then he even has the nerve to demand that I show him the actual text messages in question.

I also have other guy friends and school projects that I do with other people. I need my freedom to communicate. I've tried to tell my boyfriend that he should trust me, but that hasn't worked so far. I've never given him one small reason not to trust me, but he's like a dog with a bone on this subject, and he just won't ever let it go. My guy is very protective of me, but lately, he has been tracking me during the day to see where I am at any given moment, and he gets upset if I don't text him back right away, even when he knows I'm busy. Do you have any suggestions on how I can get him to calm down and trust that I am not doing anything behind his back? — Trustworthy Girlfriend, via email

TRUSTWORTHY GIRLFRIEND: First of all, please note that jealousy is a very big deal and can be an early red flag.

Relationships are difficult enough during good, smooth times, but when one of the partners is uncontrollably jealous, he or she may need professional counseling to overcome it — if they ever do.

Your boyfriend's jealousy might well be put into this category. Encourage him to get some counseling to get his emotional problem under control. Why do I say this? Because you mentioned that he "compulsively wants to know everything" and that he "turns quite nasty." This is not normal, safe behavior and is indeed a huge red flag.

If your boyfriend doesn't think he has any issues and dismisses your request to seek help, I implore you to break up with him immediately. It's better to cut your losses early in this type of situation because, left unchecked, it will not get better on its own. I can't tell you how many truly horrific letters I've received over the years by girls and women who at first chose to look past this type of behavior because they thought he would "grow out of it" only to have things erupt later in sometimes quite tragic ways.

This type of jealousy that your boyfriend has exhibited won't go away on its own. It will only get worse. You need to come to grips with the reality of this situation, and you are responsible for protecting yourself accordingly. I know this is tough to hear, but I have your best interests at heart.

Take some time to visit the website provided by the Administration on Children, Youth and Families; Family and Youth Services Bureau; and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Call them at (800) 799-SAFE. Their website, https://www.thehotline.org, also has an online live chat available, and it provides excellent information about the topic of relationship abuse. In your case, I strongly encourage you to educate yourself on the early warning signs of what may turn into an abusive relationship.

Even if you feel your present relationship is far from a violent one that some women deal with, trust me: Nearly all abusive relationships don't start out as overtly abusive situations. It's far better to be aware of potential problems and warning signs than it is to simply plow forward and assume everything will work itself out well in the end. Some relationships many indeed work out, but sadly, there are many that do not, and I have come to know over the years about many sad stories that I absolutely do not want you to experience, in any way, shape or form.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Free-Photos at Pixabay