DR. WALLACE: I'm a confused 16-year-old guy, and I really need your advice if possible. My story might be common to an experienced person like you who has received many letters on dating and relationships over the years.

My very good buddy is now dating my ex-girlfriend! He didn't steal her away from me or anything like that, so he and I are still friends.

My girl and I actually broke up because I told her that I needed some time to get my life together: My parents divorced in the middle of this pandemic and my grandmother has also recently passed away, so my home life has been very difficult, to say the least.

I liked this girl, but I couldn't say that I loved her at that time. But then the day I found out that my good friend was dating her, I came to realize I do love her very, very much. Now I'm confused on what I should do. Should I call her and tell her that I love her and want her back?

I'm nearly positive that she still loves me, so I'm really confused about what to do from here. If she returns to me, then I'm sure my friendship with my best friend will be really strained or even over.

Please tell me what you think I should do in this particular situation. I somehow think that you've heard similar stories over the years. — Now Regretful, via email

NOW REGRETFUL: Do nothing to encourage your former girlfriend and your best friend to end their relationship at this time.

Do your best to spend time with other friends and date other girls when possible. Believe it or not, the odds are very much in your favor that at the ages you all are right now, they will date for a relatively short period of time.

If (and ideally for you, when) the time comes that your ex-girlfriend and your best friend stop their romance, then you'll have a great opportunity to check in with her to see if she'd consider going out with you again.

I'd suggest that if this opportunity presents itself, you might wish to thank her for giving you the time to deal with your family issues. You could also tell her that you wished you could have dated her when she was with your friend, but that you respected each of them and your friendship with each enough to wish them well and stay out of their business.

This may put you in just about as favorable a light as possible to have a shot at dating her again. However, I'd also advise you that even if they part, she might not be open to dating you again. All you can do is ask if you get a "clean" chance to do so.

And no matter how this all plays out, at least you will have your buddy as a close friend, who may grow into a lifelong friend. Your integrity will be intact no matter what happens, and as you grow older, you'll come to understand just how important that is in the big picture.

NOBODY WINS THIS DEBATE

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I will soon be 21 years old. Right now, we disagree about whether smoking marijuana or drinking alcohol is worse for your body. I'm convinced that marijuana causes more damage, and he says it's alcohol. Who do you think is correct and why? — Curious Young Adults, via email

CURIOUS YOUNG ADULTS: Your question is an interesting one, and one that is often debated by people of all ages.

Alcohol and marijuana have little in common. Most people's bodies can process about one drink per hour. However, it is detectable in breath and urine tests for up to a few days, and hair for up to 90 days. After smoking pot, one can feel the effects of THC for several hours. It may be detectable for up to 36 hours in blood, two days in saliva, a month in urine and 90 days in hair. These estimates, however, can vary widely based on how often one uses the drug.

Many people say that marijuana is poison to the cells. Multiple experiments have suggested that marijuana disturbs cell growth and cell division in humans including lung, blood, sperm and brain cells.

Alcohol can do its own damage too and many heavy drinkers have suffered irreversible liver damage, for example.

In short, using any substance heavily can damage the human body, so pick your poison carefully, use it in strict moderation, or better yet, avoid it entirely.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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