DR. WALLACE: I'm a 14-year-old girl, and I'm on summer break after finishing my freshman year of high school. I did quite well with my grades, but socially, I didn't do well. I have always felt very different from my peers at school, but this year has been the worst. I feel that most of the girls are prettier or cooler or more popular than I am. They all have boyfriends or at least like a certain guy. I admit that I have deep-rooted self-confidence issues.
All of my friends are the very bright students who make A's without much trouble. But I have to struggle to make an A in algebra, and this makes me feel inferior to them. Because I hang out with the school "brains," kids think that I'm a "goody-two-shoes" when, actually, I'm not. I don't talk with a lot of kids at school, mainly because I'm so shy.
I cry a lot, and I don't want to go to school any more. I just want to be liked, but I'm afraid of what other kids think of me. What can I do to gain self-confidence? Any help would be appreciated very much. — Nameless, Big Spring, Texas
NAMELESS: You have lacked self-confidence for many years, and it will take a little time to eliminate the negative feeling you have about yourself, but writing to me is your first step in becoming the "new you." Not because of me but because of you! You have decided to make changes in your life.
You can start this summer by participating in your town's many activities, and always, always smile when you meet new friends (and old) because a smile tells people you are friendly. Continue to stay in touch with your "brainy" school friends and get acquainted with the new ones you'll meet in summer activities. You may enjoy volunteering in some worthwhile causes, and you will learn the thrill of helping those less fortunate than you. Keeping busy also tends to take your focus off your own lack of self-confidence.
Your sophomore year is going to be different and very exciting. Schools offer many activities, including clubs ranging from the pep club to the science club. When school starts again in the fall, check these out and plan to join at least two of them. You can also ask your counselor for ideas to do community volunteer work whenever you have time.
Start setting realistic goals and work towards reaching them. Not all goals are reached but many are! Without a goal, your life has little direction, leading to much frustration. Organize your time. Rarely should you have spare time and not know how to best use it.
Contact me again after school starts in the fall, and let me know how you are progressing. I care.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
View Comments