DR. WALLACE: I have a "friend" who is always hurting me physically and verbally. I'm getting tired of it. She says that I am ugly, have a big nose and my hair looks terrible. But others at my school often say I'm sweet and pretty, even though my nose is a bit long. Why does my so-called friend say such naughty things about me to my face? She is also in the habit of punching me in the arm to get my attention. She's kind of crude sometimes, but I have known her since we were in second grade together so it's kind of hard to avoid her.

I am already planning to have plastic surgery done on my nose when I turn 18, as my grandparents said they would pay for it. But what do you think I should do about this friend? — Anonymous, via email

ANONYMOUS: Many times, human beings like to put others down because they themselves feel down for some reason and "misery loves company." If your friend can convince herself that you have a lot of problems, then her personal problems don't seem too bad compared to what she believes yours are.

Your so-called friendship with this girl cannot continue in this manner. Have a talk with her and tell her how you feel. Be respectful but openly honest.

Stress that you both must share mutual respect for each other or the relationship must end. Ask her questions such as: Do you enjoy my company? Do you want to remain friends? Do you have fun when you are with me, or would you rather spend less time with me? Then ask her if she has any questions for you. At the end of the conversation, you should both hug and agree to be good friends or agree to shake hands and say, "Goodbye and good luck!"

OLD-FASHIONED LUST VERSUS PATIENCE

DR. WALLACE: I'm not having a sexual relationship with the guy I am seeing, but it is obvious that if we continue to see each other, our relationship will become intimate — soon. We are both 17. Of course, I'll insist that he uses a condom when we make love; but not getting pregnant isn't my only worry. This guy has slept with a lot of girls, and I'm deathly afraid of getting a sexually transmitted disease.

I'm aware that condoms don't give 100% protection against all sexually transmitted diseases. Are there any outward signs that a guy might be infected? — Anonymous, via email

ANONYMOUS: Outward appearances are unlikely to give any indication that someone has an STD. Most people who are infected look normal, and many are not even aware that they are infected, increasing the chance that they'll spread their highly contagious disease to others.

Since you claim to be deathly afraid of getting an STD, why would you even consider a sexual relationship at this time in your life? A sexual relationship with this Romeo would not be considered sharing love: It's really just old-fashioned lust. You'd be better off physically and mentally avoiding your fears for the time being and abstaining from being intimate. I trust there will be an opportunity in your future when you'll be comfortably aligned with intimacy both mentally and physically, hopefully with a spouse, and feel free from the fears you've outlined in your letter. Patience is a virtue and applies to your situation here.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.