DR. WALLACE: Last night I went to a party with a guy. It was our first date. During the evening he got really drunk. He wanted to drive me home, but I would not ride with him because he was too drunk to drive. I wound up spending the night at my friend's house (the girl who hosted the party) because we all live about 20 minutes away and the party ended at 12:30 a.m.
I called my parents in an effort to explain all of this, but they didn't answer the telephone because they were already asleep. I again called them at 7 a.m. the following morning, and they were in a tizzy because they were already up and didn't know where I was. They had already called the police and reported me as missing. Now I'm grounded for a month because of this! I think my parents are wrong for punishing me this way. Please let me hear what you have to say. It could influence my parents to change their decision, so please hurry with your answer! Thanks. — Nameless, South Bend, Ind.
NAMELESS: Being a passenger in a vehicle with a driver who has been drinking is indeed very risky. Your life is too important to take such a risk. You did not mention your age in your letter, but if you are 18 or older it would be wise to have access to an Uber or Lyft account in your own name. But given your circumstances as described in your letter, at that moment I believe you were 100 percent correct in what you did. Your parents were rightfully quite concerned when they didn't find you at home that next morning, and they probably overreacted. They ended up punishing you rather than praising you for your wise judgment. In my opinion, your parents should change their minds about grounding you. Instead, you should discuss as a family in advance what to do the next time any situation remotely like this arises.
I CAN'T SEE MY BOYFRIEND AGAIN
DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl who needs your opinion. Last weekend, when my parents went to bed I snuck out of my house to meet my boyfriend. It so happened that my mother woke up with a headache and went into my bedroom to get an aspirin at midnight. When I got home at 2 a.m. she was sitting in my room waiting for me. I am now grounded for a month, and my parents will not allow me to go out with my boyfriend ever again. They said that if I were caught with him, I'd be grounded for one full year.
I can accept being grounded for one month, but I can't accept that I can't see my boyfriend ever again. After all, we care for each other very much and it would be very difficult for us to stay apart. Please give me your opinion on what I should do. — Nameless, Oklahoma City, Okla.
NAMELESS: Don't discuss the situation with your parents until you have finished being grounded. Then one day when they're in a good mood, bring up the subject in a friendly tone of voice. Tell them that you and your boyfriend are very sorry for breaking the trust they had in you. Slowly encourage them to give you and your boyfriend another chance. Remember: Don't rush things! You both are to blame for the stupid behavior you engaged in, but you more than your boyfriend. You are old enough now to accept responsibility for your own actions.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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