DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months. He is a terrific person — intelligent, ambitious, responsible, hardworking, family-oriented and very loving and caring. He is everything I ever wanted and needed in a partner.
I've been in several unhappy relationships, but this guy is the first one that has treated me with decency and respect. Both he and I feel like we were meant for each other. Even though we are just 18 and still in school (we graduate in June), we know that we want to get married someday. We care for and love each other very deeply. Our backgrounds are similar and this enables us to communicate very well. His family adores me, and my family loves him.
I don't have a problem. I'm writing to you because I respect your opinion, and I'd like to know what you think about our relationship. — Nameless, Birmingham, Ala.
NAMELESS: It appears that you and your boyfriend will be spending many happy years together. You are indeed, a blessed couple, and I wish you both the very best.
DON'T BE AFRAID OF HIM
DR. WALLACE: I'm 13 and live with my aunt and uncle. They don't have children of their own. My mother has been placed in a nursing home because she has a severe illness. My father was killed in an automobile accident.
I'm fortunate to be able to live with my relatives. My aunt is very kind. My uncle is nice most of the time, but he has a very short temper and when he gets mad, he explodes.
Yesterday he exploded at me because I had forgotten to do my chores. I never had anyone talk to me that way before, so I started crying. Then my uncle said "tears don't impress me, young lady."
Now I am afraid of him. My aunt told me to forget his explosion because "in an hour he will have calmed down and he will be sweet old uncle John once again." She said that his "bark is much worse than his bite." That might be true, but I don't know if I can take another of his explosions. Help! — Nameless, St. Catherines, Ontario
NAMELESS: Let's hope your uncle reads this column. The written word can have a powerful and persuasive impact. Maybe it will open his eyes to how frightening he is when his temper takes over.
It's crucial that you not be afraid of him, so I would urge the two of you to talk. When he's in a quiet mood, apologize for forgetting your chores and tell him you will do your best not to forget them again. Then ask him if he would please not respond with anger next time he's displeased with something you've done, or haven't done, but instead explain what's wrong without exploding. It is a new experience for uncle John to be acting like a parent. It won't be long before you both will love being together.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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