DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and live with my mom and two younger sisters. My mom thinks we're a normal family, but we're not. Since I'm the oldest, I have all the responsibility for my younger sisters. If anything goes wrong, I get blamed.

Last week, my 11-year-old sister fell and cut her knee and I got blamed for it. My 13-year-old sister didn't wash the dishes clean enough and I got hollered at because I "should have supervised her more closely." I also get grounded for the simplest things, such as putting a spoon in the fork drawer. This makes me terribly depressed.

I feel like asking my dad to take me, but he lives in another state and I don't want to leave my friends — they are the only ones who keep me sane. I've tried discussing how I feel with Mom, but she insists that I've got a problem, not her. Help! I'm not going to - but sometimes I feel like running away. — Carly, Charleston, S.C.

CARLY: The burden of raising three daughters on her own has obviously put your mother under enormous stress, and she is transferring much of it onto you, the oldest child. I'm sure she doesn't realize how close you are to the breaking point.

Please talk to your school counselor or nurse as soon as possible and ask to have Mom summoned to school for a conference. In most cases, a school professional will listen to both sides of a parent-child impasse and offer positive suggestions. Effective communication is almost always the key to ending stress at home.

CANCEL THE DATE, BUT DON'T SAY WHY

DR. WALLACE: My ex and I dated for six months, but we broke up by mutual agreement. When the two of us were seeing each other, he had asked me to attend his best friend's wedding with him and I told him I'd love to go to the wedding with him. A couple of weeks later we split up and he started dating an acquaintance of mine. We weren't great friends, but we did know each other. Now even though they are not dating steadily, they are not seeing others.

Last night the girl he was dating called me and begged me not to go out with Richard because she really cared for him. She knew about the wedding and asked me if I still would be attending it with Richard. I told her I hadn't discussed it with him yet.

I really felt sorry for her and I would feel like a jerk if I went to the wedding with my ex while she stayed at home. Would it be proper for me to break my date with him? I really don't want to go with him now. — Nameless, Boston, Mass.

NAMELESS: Yes, cancel the date and the sooner you do it, the better. Don't explain why. Just tell him something has come up that has changed your plans.

ALL SUNTANS DAMAGE SKIN

DR. WALLACE: I want a beautiful tan so I plan to go to the beach a lot this summer and only stay in the sun about 45 minutes per day and use the best sunscreen on the market. I'm blond and fair-skinned, so I look like a ghost when I'm not tanned.

I know that overexposure to the sun can cause wrinkles in later life and it can also cause skin cancer. But since I will take a long time getting bronze and never ever get sunburned, I was wondering if there is anything wrong with getting tanned the way I plan? — Cindy, Hobart, Ind.

CINDY: A dark tan might look great, but unfortunately, there is no such thing as a safe tan even with limited exposure and sunscreen. Any tan at all is an indication that sun damage has already occurred. You may want to try a sunless tanning lotion.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.