DR. WALLACE: I enjoy your column and have found it very useful in raising our teenage children. I find myself now needing your advice. I have an 18-year-old daughter who was raised in a loving home with both parents. My husband and I are working and law-abiding citizens. However, she has turned out just the opposite.

Please explain how this could happen and please offer any advice on what we can do to turn this situation around. She is our oldest child and we are devastated and completely lost. — Mother, St. Charles, Ill.

MOTHER: Whatever she's going through right now, don't give up on her. Parenting is never an easy road, and surprises are the norm. Continue to tell your daughter that you love her and will always be there for her. I realize that you desperately want your daughter to be a loving, happy family member, and in time, she probably will be.

The correlation between wonderful parents and wonderful children is high, but never 100 percent. Sometimes the influences of her friends overpower the family influence. At age 18, your daughter is convinced that she is old enough to choose her own friends, make her own decisions, and do what she pleases. Trying to change her will just drive her further away.

When I was a high school principal, I saw many troubled 18-year-olds have a complete turnaround by age 20 or 21. Your daughter knows the good qualities of her parents and will probably embrace them when her present lifestyle flames out. That is why it is imperative that she know, in the meantime, that she is loved and wanted.

Sometimes the seeds we try to plant as parents, of honesty, decency, the value of hard work, and good citizenship, fail to sprout until later than we expected. But they will sprout and flourish in time.

NO NAPS BEFORE DOING HOMEWORK

DR. WALLACE: I'm a student athlete and I have softball practice every day after school. I'm in the 11th grade and, so far, I've only received one B since I've been in high school. All my other grades have been A's.

When we have practice, we all do our very best because we like to win. Lately, I've been exhausted after practice and I come home and take an hour nap after dinner before I do my homework. Then it usually takes me two hours to complete all of it.

My problem is that I seem to have trouble concentrating on my homework after taking my nap. I often read something and then can't remember what I've read. Do you think my nap is the cause of this? — Melanie, Riverside, Calif.

MELANIE: The key is getting an adequate amount of nighttime sleep. It's extremely difficult to maintain good study habits without enough rest, according to a study conducted by the University of Colorado.

The study revealed that a nap before you begin your homework can seriously impair your ability to remember what you've read. Students were advised not to nap before studying unless ample waking time (at least an hour) is still available before hitting the books.

If you can adjust your schedule a bit, you're sure to get back into a good study groove. Congratulations on your high school success!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Jim Larrison