DR. WALLACE: My parents have been lecturing me and telling me some things for a really long time, and these were things I did not want to hear. For months and months, I would dismiss their comments while just silently nodding my head and then going back to my own business. I never argued with my parents because I always want to try to keep the peace if I can, but I can remember feeling an uncontrollable urge to roll my eyes and say something about how ridiculous their comments were. But fortunately, I never said anything.
In the last couple of weeks, a few things have happened in my life that have caused me to revisit and rethink some of those comments my parents made. Ironically, I now see the wisdom of what they were trying to tell me, and I'm starting to make some gradual adjustments in the direction they had recommended. My problem at this point is, I just don't want to go to my parents and tell them that they were right or to bring up the situations for discussion in any way. Gradually they're going to notice some changes I'm in the process of making, but I definitely don't want to hear any "I told you so" remarks rubbed in my face. How can I best go about my business and not trigger any further discussions that may be unsavory from my point of view? — Not Ready to Acknowledge They Were Right, via email
NOT READY TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEY WERE RIGHT: Continue to carry on with your daily life in a confident manner, and when an inevitable comment arises in the future, simply state that you are looking forward, not backward, and are encouraged by some new opportunities you see on the horizon for yourself.
Thank your parents in advance if they refrain from bringing anything up from the past. Tell them simply encouraging you in the future is their best way to support you if they wish to intervene. Saying this in a casual, offhand way may be the best strategy to get your point across diplomatically and effectively.
MY HIGH-PRESSURE IMMEDIATE DECISION TURNED OUT TO BE RIGHT!
DR. WALLACE: I recently had to make a relatively quick decision under extreme pressure. At that time, I really wanted to think things through much more carefully and completely, but a decision had to be made almost immediately.
I somehow took what little information I had, merged that with my gut instincts and came up with a decision that now in hindsight has turned out to be extremely correct!
The fact that this all happened in the manner that it did has definitely thrown me for a loop, because I'm the type of person who likes to meticulously plan, organize and think things through before I make even a moderately sized decision, much less something highly important to me.
What do I do now going forward? My instincts tell me to revert back to my former ways of planning and taking my time with everything, yet this experience has opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking. — I Truly Surprised Myself, via email
I TRULY SURPRISED MYSELF: I don't see any reason why you can't merge your experiences together, but take note that you don't need to overly plan, analyze and fret about every little detail.
You learned an excellent lesson that your ability to gather information quickly in the moment coupled with your gut instincts driven by history of the life you've lived previously are an excellent combination.
In the future, perhaps plan ahead only with half as much time and diligence as you have spent in the past, and allow your subconscious and ability to think on your feet to fill in that final half at any given moment regarding any situation. Chances are, you'll free up a lot of your time and feel a lot better about yourself as well.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Suzi Kim at Unsplash
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