DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl in her senior year of high school, and my older brother is in college. He came home last weekend for a few dinners, and he and I got into a rather heated and interesting discussion about the purpose of parents.
My brother feels that parents' only responsibility is to make money and provide a roof over the heads of their children. He agrees that they should oversee the children to some degree, and try to keep the peace, but the main impetus for the parents should be consistently earning enough money for the family to survive.
My viewpoint is that the duty of parents is to raise their children well and teach them as much as they can. Of course, they have to earn a living, but their career should be secondary, and taking care of the children should be their primary focus. It was interesting how our parents stayed out of our discussion entirely! They just let us go at it even though I noticed some wide eyes that were displayed at a few of the overheard comments.
Which side are you on? Do you agree more with my brother's viewpoint about money being the true key for parents, or the way I look at what the priorities of parents should be? — I Dream of My Own Family Someday, via email
I DREAM OF MY OWN FAMILY SOMEDAY: In my opinion, parents should be a blend of the two perspectives you and your brother hold, as they are most certainly not mutually exclusive.
The main role of parents is to provide safety, love and guidance to help them develop wisdom and an understanding about the world. And of course, to be able to provide all of these things for their children, parents must have the financial resources to ensure adequate and ongoing stability. Your brother is quite correct in saying that finances are a big part of this, but by no means are finances the only issue of importance to parents raising children.
MY FRIEND'S COUSIN CAUGHT HIM IN THE ACT!
DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school student, and I've been dating the same guy for the past eight months. I always felt that our relationship was pretty good and that we were close and got along well.
I never suspected my boyfriend of doing anything behind my back. However, one of my close girlfriends came to me last week and told me that her cousin had definitely seen my boyfriend dating another girl in the next city over from us, one that is about 15 miles away.
I asked my boyfriend about this, and he expressly denied it. I was able to meet with my friend and her cousin later, and I heard the whole story in great detail.
Armed with details, I reproached my boyfriend and told him that I didn't believe him. Before he could start denying it, I rattled off several details about his date with this other girl in the town where she goes to high school. My boyfriend finally stopped trying to ghost me and confessed. He tried to make up a story that he was just doing a favor for a friend, but I have my doubts. He begged me to forgive him and told me it was a one-time thing and that he would never see her socially again.
I'm inclined to believe him to at least some degree, although his story of "helping her out" was a little too convenient for my liking. I'm considering breaking up with him, but so far I have not. I have remained more distant than usual, and I'm kind of playing it by ear to see how we are each going to react to each other from here. Do you think we can ever get back to where we were before? — I Still Doubt His Story, via email
I STILL DOUBT HIS STORY: The fact that you still doubt his story speaks volumes. It's likely that had your friend's cousin not observed him directly, his behavior in that regard could very well be ongoing to this day.
You're showing hesitation but appear to be slow to the end the relationship even though he tried to willfully deceive you. Perhaps it may help you to take action if you can project in your minds eye how your relationship would go if you continue it for the next several months. If you believe that you'll always be doubting him and questioning his motives, it may not be worth going through that exercise.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Juliane Liebermann at Unsplash
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