DR. WALLACE: My friends and I live right at the top of San Diego County, very near the southern end of Orange County, California.

We girls will graduate high school in about three months. At this point in our high school academic careers, we have some free time.

We'd like to do some volunteer work, and we'd especially like to help women and families. Do you have any suggestions for us? I know you used to be a varsity basketball coach and high school principal in Orange County, so maybe you know of some worthy organizations for us to volunteer at. — Three High School Girls, via email

THREE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS: I do have one for you, and it's located hopefully not too far from your area. It's based in San Clemente, California, and is called The Flora May Foundation.

Their purpose and mission is to assist families and parents who find themselves in dire need of medical or emotional support. This organization was named the 2023 Outstanding Nonprofit of the year in 2023 by the American Business Awards Organization.

They aim to keep family units together by providing specific resources that apply to each unique situation. If their place of business is close enough for you girls to reach regularly, I feel it might be a good fit for what you are seeking. Good luck and congratulations on your mutual desires to help others.

HE KEEPS ASKING ME HOW HE CAN CHANGE FOR THE BETTER

DR. WALLACE: I recently broke off a relationship with a guy at my high school. We dated for almost four months, and at that point, I realized that I was not interested in him anymore as we have vastly different temperaments and emotional needs.

Our personality differences became so pronounced to me that they also made him appear unattractive to me overall. When I gave him the news, I tried to be tactful and I just told him that I felt we were growing apart, not together.

My problem now is that he comes up to me every week at school and asks me for another chance. He wants me to tell him how he can change and improve himself so that he'll be compatible with me, I haven't had the heart to tell him the real reason why I'm no longer interested.

What can I do about this? I fear he'll be seeking me out many more times before this school year ends. — He's Out for Certain, via email

HE'S OUT FOR CERTAIN: You can start by telling him that the purpose of dating is for each person to get to know the other one, and themselves, better over time.

Tell him bluntly, but kindly, that although you like him as a person, you know in your heart that the two of you are incompatible as a romantic couple. Tell him that it would not be fair to him for you to ask him to make changes, as your decision is final. Encourage him to move on with his social life.

Situations like these are difficult for sure, and one suggestion I like to give is to imagine the roles being reversed. If you were the one being told that there was no future chance at rekindling a former relationship, how would you wish for it to be explained to you? Would you wish to know the truth so that you could hopefully find closure as soon as possible?

Do your best in this context to be as kind yet as firm and final as possible. You'll both benefit from an amicable and final acceptance that things are over between the two of you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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