DR. WALLACE: I'm a 14-year-old girl and I've been invited to a slumber party next weekend with three other girls from my class in school. I'd like to go because these three girls are all my friends and one of them is my very best friend.

My mom usually in the past has let me attend sleepover parties, but I haven't attended one in over two years. But recently, my grandmother came to live with my mom and me, and when Grandma heard me ask to attend this slumber party, she said in a loud voice that I was way too old for such nonsense! Grandma and I usually get along great, but not so much on this topic. Grandma says that sleepover parties are for little girls under 10 years old only!

Now my mom is thinking about not letting me attend this gathering because she feels pressure from Grandma. What do you think? — I Still Want to Go, via email

I STILL WANT TO GO: I feel the level of parental supervision at the event is more important than the age of the attendees. Friends like to be together, and as long as there is adequate parental supervision during that evening, I don't feel you should be barred from attending it.

Perhaps you could contact the host girl and have her mother call your mother to discuss the arrangements that are being made and to assure her that there will be close supervision that evening. This would also give your mother some positive talking points to discuss with her mother, your grandmother.

MY BLIND DATE HAS BEEN REPEATED FIVE TIMES NOW

DR. WALLACE: I was set up on a blind date a month ago. My best girlfriend arranged it for me. The guy is nice, but he's super shy, and so the two of us have now been on five very platonic, physically distant dates. He's never held my hand, and the only time he touches it is when he shakes my hand to say goodbye to me when a date ends.

I really like him because he's so nice and unconventional. He's beyond respectful and he's smart, too. He even made one decent joke one time on one date! I'm still waiting for another dash of humor, but he's shy, so I don't know when he might cut loose for 30 seconds in the future again.

Anyhow, I don't want to rush anything at all in our fledgling relationship, especially anything physical at all. But on the other hand, I feel so distant from him physically even though I'm growing to like him more and more over time.

As a girl, I also worry that if I make a first move, it might put him off or make him feel I'm too aggressive for his style. What can I do about this situation? I do want to keep dating him, but all of our dates seem to start and end the same way as the very first one, and the truth is, we are not strangers anymore. I should also mention that we are both seniors at the same high school. — Unsure What to Do Next, via email

UNSURE WHAT TO DO NEXT: I suggest that you carefully but strategically use your actions to demonstrate your growing feelings for him. Plan ahead on your next date to end it with a hug that you initiate. You can say, "This marks our sixth date, so I feel a half-dozen nice dates deserves a nice hug!" Then reach out and hug him briefly but firmly.

Smile as you step back and tell him honestly that you enjoy his company and that you look forward to spending more time with him, if he's interested in doing so. Leaving a phrase like "if you're interested in doing so" hanging in the air will allow him to likely reply back to you in an affirmative way. This may then help him relax, as you'll both have it on record as enjoying each other's company.

Then on the seventh date, seek an appropriate moment to hold his hand, perhaps if you are crossing a busy street or find yourself in a crowded area. A hand held at the right moment can go a long way to sending a subtle message that you are happily enjoying his company. A head on a shoulder at a movie is another subtle avenue to convey the same message.

It's great that the two of you are in no rush, as you both have time on your side. Perhaps start out by initiating a few of these subtle physical actions at first, and then seek to build upon them with open and meaningful conversations as appropriate. In time, he will likely move past at least the initial stages of his shyness, and from there, your evolution as a possible couple should have its chance to flourish.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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