DR. WALLACE: My grandparents are getting up in years these days, so they sold their home in the Midwest and came to live with our family here in Arizona.

They're both very nice, but my grandfather still smokes his pipe about twice a day! At least he always does it on the back patio, not inside of our house, but when he comes back inside it's so gross because his clothes have a heavy stench of smoke in them!

I'm only a teenager, so it's not my place to say anything about this to a respected elder. But once he's back in the house, I truly feel like I'm being exposed to secondhand smoke, even if it's coming from his clothes! I'm not sure if you've ever been around a pipe smoker, but they are some hardcore smokers who take their "hobby" seriously! He packs some special sort of strong tobacco into that pipe, and he has a special gold-plated lighter he uses to ignite his bowl of smoke!

Is there anything I can politely say or do that might help me to continue to breathe fresh air in our home? — In Grandpa's Line of Fire, via email

IN GRANDPA'S LINE OF FIRE: Perhaps you could have a quiet discussion with your mother at a time and place in which your father and grandfather are not present nor in earshot.

Explain how you feel to your mother, taking the time to mention how much you love both of your grandparents, but that you just wish there was not so much smoke being trailed back into your home once Grandpa finishes one of his pipe breaks.

Then ask your mother if it might be helpful or appropriate to set up a large standing fan on the patio, about 10 feet from the back door. Have it face out toward the back of your yard and ask Grandpa to spend a minute or two getting "fanned" so that most if not all of the smoke will be removed from his clothing!

Now this will be a delicate conversation to be sure, so it's better to have your mother handle this matter for you, especially given your age difference with your elder here.

Perhaps your mother could speak with your grandfather directly about this idea, and she may or may not wish to bring up that this was your idea. Then you'll likely be on the way to enjoying fresher air inside of your domicile.

I'M AFRAID I MAY HAVE LOST HER

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 years old and I feel as though I might have lost my high school sweetheart of three years by making a stupid mistake.

We both now attend the same college, and she's a much better student than I am, so I have to work a lot harder to get average grades than she does.

We do have a couple of college courses we attend together, but I have another three classes this semester that she's not in. And in one of those classes, I sit next to a nice girl who's a great student in that course.

She often helps me with my homework and even gives me her notes that she takes in class. I think she likes me a little, but I've told her long ago that I've had a current and steady girlfriend since my sophomore year of high school.

Anyhow, I got a B on a big test in that class last week. I found out about this because this girl walked by me in the main quad area of our campus. She told me the grades were posted and that she got her usual A and that I got a rather surprising "B" grade on that exam.

In the moment I gave her a big hug and as we separated, I also kissed her lightly and quickly on her left cheek. And just as I did this, you guessed it: my girlfriend was walking in our direction after having rounded a corner that kept her out of my sight at first. I know I wasn't doing anything wrong, but to my girlfriend it did not look good. She's really upset, and she literally just kept walking right past us without saying a word.

Two periods later I had a class with my girlfriend, and she intentionally sat across the room away from me. She left the class a minute early on purpose to avoid me.

Now she won't answer my phone calls. I really care for her! What can I do now? I feel like I might have made a fatal mistake in terms of our relationship, but deep down I was not trying to hit on this other girl at all. I was just so happy to hear about my good grade and I knew this girl had helped me to study more efficiently to do this. What can I do to get my girl to forgive me? — Very Worried Guy, via email

VERY WORRIED GUY: Since your girl is not answering your telephone calls, perhaps send her an email or a text explaining this situation. Tell her the full and open truth and that you got caught up in the moment and gave this girl a hug, as two friends would do.

Explain also that your peck on her cheek was purely out of endearment, similar to the way you might kiss your aunt on the cheek. Let your girlfriend know that you did not, never have and never would kiss this girl on the lips.

Then bring up a good time the two of you have had within the last year or so. Mention to her several of your good times, great conversations and life experiences the two of you have shared.

Tell her you are that very same guy right now, and you feel the very same way about her that you have always felt. Admit that your judgment was off that day and that you meant absolutely nothing untoward with that hug or peck. Tell her that in the future you'll resort to offering a "high five" to initiate any future celebrations with this girl or any other girl you know only casually.

Communication is the absolute key to any relationship. Let your girl know this and ask her to speak with you directly as soon as possible even though you're likely not going to enjoy what she has to say. But go on to tell her that it's of paramount importance to you to have her fully vent to you and that you're open to hearing how this incident made her feel. Tell her that you don't ever want to make her feel this way again and that you're asking her for the best logical and honest way to try to break the ice from here. Mention that you know in your heart that your intentions were not wrong, but that you could have handled the situation better and that now it's very important for you to hear her side of this matter.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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