DR. WALLACE: My parents got divorced about a year and a half ago, and I now live with my mom. I feel bad since I see that she does not seem too interested in pursuing a social life lately and does not seem to have many hobbies that take up her time. So, she works a lot, watches a few movies or the news when she gets home and that seems to be about it. My mom's not into exercise, so since she's tired from her work, she just pretty much zones out at night when we're home. I feel bad that she does not get to interact with seemingly anyone outside of our house except for the people she works with at her full-time job.

I remember when I was younger, she told me that she was a pretty decent musician back in high school and college and that she played keyboards and did some backup vocals for a small band she played in locally for a few years way back then. She said it was a lot of fun being a musician even though it only lasted for a brief time in her life on a local level. Once, I asked her a lot of specific questions about it and I got her to admit that she was pretty talented on the keyboards and a "very decent" backup singer.

Since her birthday is coming up in late March, I've been trying to think of a good, useful gift to give her. It seems like she has all the clothes she needs, and a gift certificate to a local restaurant seems bland and redundant for her since she often eats lunch with her coworkers on Friday afternoons at various restaurants near our local mall.

So, lately, I've been thinking out of the box and I'm wondering if it would be appropriate for me to buy her a nice acoustic guitar. I don't think she's ever played guitar, but I already know she's musical and that she has a nice singing voice. My worry is that this type of gift might upset her, and by that I mean that I would be expecting for her to learn a new instrument without ever having asked her about it first. But on the other hand, I know for sure she would be quite surprised by this type of gift.

My hope would be that she may take to the guitar and slowly learn to strum out a few songs. I could even have her sing a few to me at home at night or on the weekends.

Am I being unrealistic here? Maybe I'm overreacting to her sedentary, repetitive current lifestyle and so I'm trying to shake her out of it? And a gift should be designed for the one receiving it, like my mom, not the daughter giving the gift, right?

I love my mom very much and I want to be respectful when it comes to selecting a nice birthday gift for her, but I also want to see if she might enjoy trying something new. What do you think? — Nervous gift giver, via email

NERVOUS GIFT GIVER: I personally like your idea a lot! To protect your purchase, speak to a local music store manager in advance and explain your situation. The reason for this is to be sure you can return the guitar for full credit if the gift idea does not work out and you must return it in pristine condition unused.

Hopefully, however, your mother might enjoy the new challenge a guitar would present her, especially since she is already musically inclined.

Playing a musical instrument is often relaxing for older adults and can even improve or sustain memory and eye-hand coordination.

Since I'm not sure if your mother will be able to be a "self-taught" guitarist (if she accepts and embraces the challenge), you might also want to check into lessons for her that she can attend online or even in person at the local music store. There are also others who teach various instruments in just about every town, so a little research in this regard may provide benefits as well.

And if your mother is interested, she might be able to do a little teaching herself. She could teach keyboards in exchange for guitar lessons by collecting some funds for her keyboard expertise and spending those funds on guitar lessons. Best of all, if she proceeds down this path, it will get her out and about socially a bit as well.

If she reengages in playing music, she'll have the opportunity to circulate with all kinds of people of all ages — and she just might develop a new social friendship or two along the way.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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