DR. WALLACE: If my email can keep one single teen from going through the terrible experience that I have endured, then it will be worth the pain I'm going through as I relive my nightmare in this letter.

When I was a 6-year-old girl, my mother's boyfriend molested me. This abuse lasted for over one year. I kept my mouth shut because he told me that my mother wouldn't love me if she found out what was going on. He later killed himself, so I never found a reason to say anything, especially because I was so ashamed.

When I was 12, it happened again! My uncle, believe it or not, actually paid me $5 every time he molested me. He told me that if I told anyone he would say it was entirely my fault. Again, I said nothing, out of fear and shame.

When I turned 14, I basically never allowed myself to be alone with an older man, no matter who he was. By the time I was 15, I was heavily into sex, alcohol and drugs. When I was 16, I was seriously considering suicide. At one point, I had a razor blade held to my wrist, but I chickened out when the small nick on my wrist started to bleed.

I changed for the better when I met a wonderful guy shortly after my suicide attempt. He made me realize that I wasn't the one to blame, and he taught me to feel good about myself. He is now my husband, and our 2-year-old son thinks he is the greatest father on earth.

My advice to anyone who has been or is being molested is to tell a trusted adult immediately. If the first one doesn't believe you, tell another, and don't stop until someone believes you. Trust me; these days, someone will believe you, probably the very first person you tell. It almost cost me my life because I didn't speak up sooner. I ended up needing professional help, but then again, so did my molesters. I firmly believe I could have stopped this cycle much sooner. — Nightmare Childhood, via email

NIGHTMARE CHILDHOOD: Thank you for your excellent advice and for sharing such a painful story with our readers. Too often, children who are being sexually molested by a family member or "trusted" adult are too afraid to speak out. But even more tragically, when they do, often they are called liars, homewreckers and troublemakers. That's why it is extremely important to find someone who believes you and can get immediate help for you. Molesters are very ill people in desperate need of professional therapy and the consequences of law enforcement, not necessarily in that order.

TEACHERS SHOULD NEVER COMPARE SIBLINGS

DR. WALLACE: I'm in the ninth grade, and my sister is in the 12th grade. She is a brilliant student and has already accepted a scholarship at Stanford University. My parents are very proud of her.

My problem is that while I'm intelligent, I'm not in the same elite category as my sister. She has always gotten all A's, and this makes me feel like a dunce. My sister is a wonderful friend, but being compared with her makes me feel inferior. What can I do to have my teachers accept me for who I am and not always compare me to my sister? Once they see my last name on their class list, their expectations of me literally go off the charts — Younger Sister, via email

YOUNGER SISTER: Most teachers do realize that each child is unique and should never be compared with any other student, including a sibling. This is taught in the beginning of most education classes in college. When the teacher forgets this and compares you with your sister, you can courteously remind the teacher not to do so. If you wish to lighten the mood as you do this, you can say that you're a very good student, but your sister is definitely in a league of her own. Then, with a nice smile, tell your teacher that the good news is that your interest in this particular class is well above average.

You are obviously an excellent student in your own right, and I'm sure your parents are very proud of your accomplishments. Your teachers will be as well.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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