DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and in the 11th grade. I'm not brilliant, but I've been told by my school counselor that I possess above average intelligence and should have no problem earning a college degree at a quality school. Both of my parents are professionals, and both put pressure on me to aim for top grades.

This semester, I'm getting two A's and four B's. I'm not a valedictorian candidate, but my grades are good, and I am proud of them. I'm also a good softball player. I pitch and play center field.

My parents, however, expect me to average four A's and two B's, so they are unhappy with my grades and are threatening to keep me off the team so I can spend more time on my studies.

I would be crushed if they made me quit the team. How can I make my parents understand that I'm not a straight-A student? — Student Athlete, via email

STUDENT ATHLETE: I firmly believe that denying a child the opportunity to participate in a wholesome, school-sponsored sports activity is not an effective motivation.

If you were failing a class, your parents might need to take drastic action, but doing so simply to raise your grade-point average a few notches is arbitrary.

If your mom and dad are adamant, you need to get some allies. I suggest that you discuss your dilemma with your school counselor and your softball coach and ask them to arrange a meeting with your parents, perhaps all of you together. If such a meeting can be set up, your chances of a successful outcome will be increased.

SMALL STEPS HELP CURE SHYNESS

DR. WALLACE: I would like to know how to overcome shyness. I am very shy and would like to break away from this condition.

I read in one of your letters about how to talk to a shy person, but can you tell me how to talk when you are the shy person? I'm upset that I have this problem, and I get told all the time that I should try to change my ways, but I just can't easily do this. I would appreciate any thoughts on how to overcome shyness! — Shy Girl, via email

SHY GIRL: To overcome shyness, it is important to take things one day at a time. See each day is an opportunity to try an experiment or two. Start by seeking to make brief eye contact with strangers. In any normal social situation where you must interact with another individual, look the person squarely in the eye for a few seconds, smile subtly and then feel free to look away.

Next, take a deep breath to relax. Ask the other person a question or two. Most people enjoy answering them, and it gives you a chance to respond and keep the conversation going a little further. Keep a smile on your face as much as possible. Again, people enjoy being with someone who is pleasant and responsive. A smile quite often puts others at ease.

Your determination to overcome your shyness is the very first step in doing so. Don't get discouraged, and don't expect to become glib and perfectly comfortable in a day, a week or a month. But keep at it; it's a process. Trust the process of being a little more proactive each day. Keep practicing every day to become more social, and gradually, you will find your self-confidence begin to rise and take root. Write to me again soon to let me know about your progress and experiences!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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