DR WALLACE: I'm 16, soon to be 17, and have invited a girl to attend a school formal with me. Since she is very pretty and very popular, I was surprised when she said yes to my invitation. However, I have a problem. Last week, I was disciplined for getting poor grades, and part of my discipline is that I can't drive our family car until next semester. I've asked my parents for an exception to let me drive to this formal event, but they've refused to budge. My dad said he would drive us to and from the dance, but I would only accept that offer as a last resort.

I've thought of renting a car (my cousin would rent it for me) and not telling my parents. But if something went wrong and they found out, I'd lose all car privileges forever, so I just can't take the risk, even though it's very tempting. Please don't tell me to have my date drive! She doesn't have a driver's license anyhow. And don't suggest that my date's parents drive me; that would be more humiliating than if this young lady had turned down my date request. I'm in a tough spot, looking for a solution. Do you have any ideas, given your vast experience dealing with teens? — No Car to Drive, Austin, Texas

NO CAR TO DRIVE: Do not under any circumstances drive a car that your cousin could rent! Driving a rental car without being authorized in advance by the rental company is not only illegal but also a grave financial risk. Instead, I suggest you turn your "problem" into something positive, which could be a lot of fun if you can pull it off. If you're successful, you can tell your date that you're hiring a chauffeur to take you to the dance. How do you accomplish this? By "encouraging" your father (or uncle, aunt, or family friend, etc.) to wear a white shirt, bowtie and "chauffeur" cap. Have this driver open the car doors and smile a lot. You may need to rent the uniform and cap, and I suggest you find a weekend job to pay for this expense. I'll bet you can find a family member who would be a good sport and cooperate, and it's likely your date would be impressed with your transportation planning!

A WARNING TO HEED

DR. WALLACE: So much is on my mind these days. I am filled with emotions from the tragic loss of our 24-year-old daughter two years ago from a head-on collision with a drunk driver. My daughter turned the wheel, taking the brunt of the hit, sacrificing her life for mine. She died instantly upon impact. I lived. The drunk driver, amazingly, survived as well.

After reading some of the columns that young people often drive after having a couple of beers, I am very concerned. But you did, indeed, reply to one of these teens with the sound advice that "even one beer can impair driving skills to some degree." I just want to tell all of your readers that choices have consequences, and I hope choices of drinking and driving don't destroy any more lives. It seems to me that there must be a tragedy before young people understand. I wish to warn them in advance by learning from my horrific experience — Mournful Mother, via email

MOURNFUL MOTHER: I am truly saddened to hear about your loss. Automobile crashes occasionally happen even when both drivers are completely sober. When two vehicles collide, we judge it as an accident when the driver at fault was not impaired with drugs or alcohol. But when a driver is, indeed, impaired with drugs and/or alcohol, the crash is almost definitely avoidable, which is unforgivable given the dire consequences that so often follow. It is easy to point the finger at teens and blame peer pressure and youthful exuberance for their drinking and driving, but sadly, this unacceptable behavior is a major adult crime as well, and adults of all ages, races, religions and occupations are often at fault.

I realize that driving after consuming alcohol is not a crime if the driver tests under the legal limit by a Breathalyzer. But our nation would be much safer if driving after drinking even a single drop would be considered a menace to public safety. With the prevalence of rideshare options available these days, there is truly no excuse to drive after drinking. Thank you for sharing your tragic experience in an effort to alert others to these dangers.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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