DR. WALLACE: I'm in the 12th grade and should graduate this coming June. I like school, and I'm a decent student but not an academic superstar. I've been thinking lately that I don't like the idea that I won't be in high school anymore. I'm not planning to attend college, and I'm worried that I won't be able to find a job. Any suggestions you can provide will be appreciated. — Jittery About the Real World, via email

JITTERY ABOUT THE REAL WORLD: You're not alone. Over the years, I've heard stories that some high school 12th graders even considered deliberately failing their classes so they won't be forced to leave the familiar and comfortable surroundings of high school and be forced to venture out into the "real world," as you put it. The fear of leaving high school can be overcome, and a good start is for teens to discuss the situation first with their parents and then to follow up with close friends, teachers and counselors.

Even though finding a job can be difficult and intimidating, this goal has been successfully achieved by millions of young people before you and will be achieved by millions in future years as well. To start, I suggest you seek employment in a field that interests you. It's always easier to learn a new job that you find interesting instead of one you know very little about. Also consider your personality and skill set. Meet with your high school counselor to discuss this very matter. He or she will be able to guide you and provide you with some great suggestions. You should also network with fellow students and any adults you are familiar with. Do this right away so you have time to both look for future job openings and consider what types of jobs you'd like to try.

Finally, if you identify a field you're really interested in, you might seek out a summer internship to work part time and evaluate that field. I'm confident that there are good opportunities in your community and that you will find one to begin your career journey with soon.

DON'T ALLOW THIS TO CONTINUE

DR. WALLACE: This letter is in response to the young lady in New Jersey who was involved in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend. Your advice to dump the guy was right on. I had a similar experience with a very "dreamy" boyfriend. Our relationship of three years started out like a fairy tale. He was very popular, and I was shy and not well-known at our school at all. I felt honored that he had chosen me to be his girlfriend. Everything was lovely for over a year. Then, one night, we were arguing, and he pushed me really hard against a wall in the hallway. He quickly apologized and said it would never happen again.

But it did happen again — more and more frequently. My family and friends begged me to leave him, but I wouldn't because I felt I was so in love with him. And as time went on, his abuse got worse. He soon cursed at me, spit on me, broke things that belonged to me and screamed into my face. He eventually began slapping me and twisting my arm so hard it really hurt. Once, he punched me so hard on my arm that I had a bruise for weeks. After these episodes, he acted like Mr. Wonderful again and would later apologize for his outburst and promise to never do it again.

When I was finally fed up with this behavior, I got up the courage to leave him for good, and I moved to another location. After my self-esteem returned, I began to join a new social scene, and shortly afterward, I met the true love of my life. He is the sweetest man I've ever known, and he would never dream of harming me in any way. We have been married for two years, and for the first time, I know what true love is. Please continue to tell young girls to break off relationships once any sign of abuse surfaces. Learn from my story that things do not get better over time. Don't make excuses for the abuser; just leave the relationship immediately. — Been There, via email

BEEN THERE: Thank you for your letter outlining your own personal experience. I am happy to hear that your story has had a happier ending than many others I have heard over the years. Men who abuse females are ill, and they need psychiatric help. The routine you've described is, sadly, very often the same. A man acts like Mr. Nice Guy for a while and then slowly begins to abuse his partner. Then, he apologizes and promises to never do it again. Sadly, the cycle of abuse nearly always does continue and becomes more violent and more frequent.

Please don't allow this to continue. Your safety and mental well-being are too important to ignore. The first time any woman is subjected to physical or verbal abuse should be the last.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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