DR. WALLACE: I am 17 and work six hours every Saturday at a fast-food restaurant. The manager is about 40, and he keeps hitting on me. He keeps inviting me to go on a date with him, and I keep telling him "no" because he's much too old for me. He knows I'm 17; he's the one who hired me. I don't want to quit because I need the money and I enjoy my work. My other co-workers are great, and the customers are nice, too. I really like my job, except for this.
I've already told this older manager that if he doesn't stop pestering me, I'll sue him for sexual harassment. Why is it that the older guys are always on the prowl for younger girls? — Not So Fast, Buddy, via email
NOT SO FAST: This guy must back off, and of course, you shouldn't have to quit your job to make your point. Immediately let this manager know that his very next inappropriate action will result in you contacting the owner of the restaurant or another person who has authority over him. Employers are sensitive to cases of sexual harassment and want their employees to enjoy a safe and ethical workplace. They will take the appropriate action once notified about what has been going on. Also, keep an eye out for your fellow employees so that they may be protected from this same behavior. Report any further inappropriate actions that you or your colleagues are subjected to.
Older guys who pursue young girls usually have low self-esteem and feel they cannot attract women their own age. There is no excuse for this, and there is absolutely no place for inappropriate conversations or behavior in the workplace, especially by your superior. Don't waiver at all. Put your foot down immediately and follow through right away if this happens again — even one more time. As an adult and a "manager," he should well understand the seriousness of your final warning to him.
ENJOY YOUR NEW CAMPUS' SOCIAL LIFE
DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I have been dating steadily for the past year. Both of us will be graduating in June. In the fall, I will be a student at Indiana University in Bloomington while he will be going to Purdue University in West Lafayette.
I want the freedom to have a rewarding university social life by dating other guys at Indiana U. He wants us to stay committed. He says that the two campuses are about 100 miles apart and we could see each other quite a bit on the weekends. I'm not sure what to do and would appreciate your comments. — College-Bound, Terre Haute, Indiana
COLLEGE BOUND: Weekends are a good time to catch up on studies, not to spend time on the highway. I would agree that you both should enjoy campus social life and see each other occasionally, when time and studies allow. Long-distance relationships usually have a way of sorting themselves out over time. At this point, I recommend you follow your instincts and be honest with your boyfriend. Let him know that you will keep in touch and see him occasionally — but not exclusively — while you are at your university. Being honest with him up front is absolutely the right way to go.
BALLPLAYERS USE SMOKELESS TOBACCO
DR. WALLACE: I've been using smokeless tobacco (snuff) for about a year, especially while I'm playing baseball. I know that smoking can cause lung cancer, and I've been told that smokeless tobacco can cause cancer of the mouth. But I never read about a major league baseball player worrying about cancer, and a lot of professional baseball players use smokeless tobacco. Do you have any information on smokeless tobacco? — Pete, Knoxville, Tennessee
PETE: University of California researchers surveyed hundreds of professional ballplayers during spring training and found a strong link between the use of smokeless tobacco and lesions in the mouth. The study surveyed professional players (with a smokeless tobacco habit) from the Chicago Cubs, San Francisco Giants, Oakland Athletics, California Angels, Milwaukee Brewers, Cleveland Indians and Seattle Mariners.
The research team concluded that the chance of developing precancerous lesions is 225 times greater for users of chewing tobacco and snuff than for nonusers. The researchers interviewed players about their tobacco use and conducted dental exams during yearly physicals. Oral lesions were present in 46 percent of the players who used smokeless tobacco, compared with less than 2 percent of nonusers. My advice? Take a pass on all tobacco — including smokeless.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
View Comments