Many Guys Don't Distinguish Love from Lust

By Dr. Robert Wallace

March 14, 2018 4 min read

DR. WALLACE: I'm writing this letter to all the teenage girls who are feeling pressured by their boyfriends to "prove their love" by having sex.

I'm 17 and met my 18-year-old boyfriend at a summer camp. This guy had it all — good looks, intelligence and a wonderful sense of humor. I really thought I had found my future husband. We dated steadily for about a month. The first three weeks were wonderful. The last week was filled with him pressuring me to "prove my love." Foolishly, I gave in. I lost my virginity in the back of his van.

He was supposed to call me the following day. He didn't call. A week went by and he still hadn't called, so I called him. His mother said he had moved to California to work in his brother's auto repair business. I asked her if he had left a message for me and the answer was no. I cried when I hung up because I felt used and abused. This guy really didn't care for me. He just wanted me to help satisfy his lust, and being a fool, I did.

But that's not the end of my story. Before he skipped town, he told his three best friends about our intimate encounter, gave them my telephone number and told them I'd do anything they wanted if they told me they loved me. I found this out because one of his friends felt guilty and told me what my "lover boy" had told them.

I made a stupid mistake and I'll remember it the rest of my life. Girls, I'm writing this letter to remind you that guys will tell you anything to get what they want. Most guys don't distinguish between lust and love. — Nameless, Jacksonville, Fla.

NAMELESS: I receive several similar letters every week. Girls give in to the pressure to have sex and then are sorry they made that unwise decision. Thanks for sharing your experience with our teen readers. We will never convince all of the teens who read this column to follow your advice, but we will convince a few — that's what we call progress!

Consider yourself lucky that the guy left the state. He is a no-good lout who would have tried to continue using you. Giving your phone number to three of his buddies and telling them that if they said they loved you, you would do anything they wanted is unforgivable! Besides being a lout, he is also a jerk and a louse!


DR. WALLACE: Can you tell me, in a dozen words or less, how I can stay physically fit? I have a rather slender build and want to stay that way for the rest of my life. — Nameless, Phoenix, Ariz.

NAMELESS: Enjoy nutritious food, avoid junk food, stay active, sleep well and avoid addiction!


DR. WALLACE: My parents are always telling me stories that start out, "When I was your age..." They seem to think the way they did things, or the sacrifices they had to make, were better and more significant than those of today's teens.

Will you please tell parents to stop telling "When I was your age..." stories? They are simply not relevant in today's world. — Nameless, Goshen, Ind.

PARENTS: Remember when your parents said, "When I was your age..." and how much you dreaded hearing those words? You get the message!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at

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