DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and have always been overweight and because of this, I've never been popular with the other students. But now I'm tired of being a wallflower.

I've tried losing weight, but I'll never be slim because I have a large body frame. Please tell me what I can do to become more popular even if I'm a little overweight. I'll do anything to gain respect of my peers. — Sad Girl, Gary, Ind.

SAD GIRL: Your dilemma is being under-confident, not overweight. Thinness is not a prerequisite to either popularity or happiness, and you don't need a perfect body to have an active social life.

How overweight young people perceive themselves can affect the ways others respond to them socially, according to nutritionist Beth Laskoski. They often suffer from low self-esteem and view themselves as social outcasts, thinking no one will like them because of their appearance. This self-consciousness can prevent them from reaching out and making friends, she says.

"Sometimes our weight-conscious world overlooks overweight teens," Laskoski says. "Sometimes they're excluded. But sometimes they become their own worst enemy and exclude themselves. If you act like you don't want to be included, then that's what will happen."

Developing a positive self-image can help fight the overweight blues and gain you better acceptance among your peers. By recognizing your personal strengths, you can step forward without anxiety and begin to interact with others comfortably. People respond to the image you project. By being upbeat and friendly, you encourage people to see beyond the extra pounds and get to know you.

Maintaining a positive attitude rather than dwelling on your weight is important when getting to know people. People can be attracted to you regardless of what you weigh, but aren't likely to enjoy hearing you complain about your weight. You can actually invite others to make snide jokes and remarks about you by putting yourself down or always saying you need to go on a diet.

However, overweight people are often the target of fat jokes and thoughtless comments through no fault of their own. No one is exempt from teasing, but the heavy person - or anyone else who is out of the mainstream, for any reason - can be especially vulnerable. One way of putting a stop to it is to simply ignore it.

When the overweight blues strike, Susan Tenzer, a New York psychotherapist, suggests a moderate workout or other physical activity, because exercise can actually counter depression. "Being active is the key to everything, because it revs up the metabolism and makes people feel better about themselves," she says.

Dealing with problems that stem from being overweight takes time. By building your self-esteem, you will begin to see yourself as an attractive, interesting and worthwhile person; eventually, others will as well.

Ideally, the best solution is to improve your self-image and to do something about the weight. "Ironically," says Tenzer, "many people find that once they've accepted the way they look, they find the motivation to do something about the extra weight. Either way, they learn to like themselves and to enjoy life as well."

A dietitian will provide you with a healthy weight-loss program. Visit one soon.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.