DR. WALLACE: I'm a 21-year-old guy who's been dating a 20-year-old girl for almost a year now. About six months ago, a close friend of mine introduced me to playing competitive pool. My girlfriend and I are both college students and we work hard at our part-time jobs, while also studying hard and when I have a little free time on my own, I really enjoy playing pool at a local bar.

I got my girlfriend to go with me a time or two in the beginning, but she soon soured on the idea and told me she found that bar to be unsavory. She didn't like sitting around, watching me play pool against other guys, and sometimes we would bet on the outcome. Not a lot of money, but just enough to make it interesting and get everyone's competitive juices flowing.

Last weekend, my girlfriend told me I'm spending too much of my free time playing pool and not enough time hanging out with her. The way I look at it, she knows she's welcome to go with me to that bar anytime she would like, but she's the one who refuses to go. It's not like I'm trying to hit on other women or anything like that; she knows exactly what I'm doing there and who I'm with. Why is this such a big deal? — I Enjoy the Competition, via email

I ENJOY THE COMPETITION: I side with your girlfriend on this one, to a point. You already know, she doesn't like attending that particular bar simply to watch you gamble on playing competitive games of pool. So take a "cue" here and cut back the amount of time you're hanging out in that bar. Make sure you're spending the bulk of your social time with your girlfriend and make that bar an odd treat for yourself, rather than your regular weekly routine.

However, if you truly feel deep down that regularly playing these competitive games of pool is more important to you than your girlfriend, then by all means continue to play pool as much as you want, but have the decency to cut her free and explain to her your reason for doing so.

MY THREE-LEGGED VENTURE ENDED QUITE BADLY

DR. WALLACE: Last Saturday, my girlfriend and I attended a fundraiser for a very good cause in our town. There were all kinds of games, food items, and various ways to spend money so that the community could raise funds for the designated purpose.

At one point, there was a "3-legged gunny sack race" about to start, and a distant cousin of mine who was attending the fair came up to me and she told me that she had always wanted to try a gunny sack race and asked me if I would try it with her. I told her yes, before I had said anything to my girlfriend, since she was off to get us some food anyhow.

Well, the race started, and to my chagrin, when it ended, my girlfriend was literally fuming! She was not too amused at the sight of me participating in a 3-legged gunny sack race with another female as my race partner. We didn't win the race, but we did finish third out of about 10 sets of participants, so we had a good time and a lot of laughs as we crossed the finish line.

Those laughs quickly turned to frowns and scowls as my girlfriend launched into a tirade at the two of us that was beyond embarrassing. I tried right then, and there to explain who this girl was, and that she was a cousin-in-law of mine visiting from out of state. My girlfriend would hear none of it, and simply set the food down on the table nearest her and walked out to our car and sat in the car for the next hour. Needless to say, when I left the event to give her a ride home, I received an icy reception.

I'm doing my best now to patch things up, but my question for you is concerning who you think was right or wrong in this situation. Was I out of line participating in a gunny sack race with another female? Or was my girlfriend out of line for her reaction? — I'll Never Gunny Sack Again, via email

I'LL NEVER GUNNY SACK AGAIN: In my opinion, your girlfriend overreacted here. This was a public event. She happened not to be near you when this race started, and you were asked by an extended family member to participate. To me, this was done in the spirit of raising money for the event and enjoying some good, wholesome fun and a few laughs.

Perhaps this experience may have exposed something deeper going on in your relationship with your girlfriend. I suggest having an open discussion about your relationship in general, and see if you can uncover any other things that may have been bothering her before this reaction occurred.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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