DR. WALLACE: I'm 15, and my parents just let me know that I was adopted as a baby! I was beyond shocked, but my parents reassured me that they are my parents now and forever, and that they love me just the same as if I was born directly to them. They explained that they were able to legally adopt me and bring me home with them before I was even two months old.

But the loving and direct way my parents told me about this definitely softened the blow that came along with this news. One of the first thoughts I had was to ask about what they might know about my birth mother. All they could tell me was that she was very young and knew she couldn't take care of me, and she wanted to be sure I landed in a good home. I also learned that I was born in the state next to where we live currently, but it's about a five-hour trip by car between where I was born and where I'm living now.

I didn't put any pressure on my parents about wanting to do an immediate search for my birth mother or try to find out who my biological father was. Do you think I should push to have this done as soon as possible, or perhaps wait until I'm 18 or later to search for my biological parents? I can also tell you that I am beyond blessed to have the two parents I live with now, as they have treated me really well for my entire life. — Feeling Lucky but Curious, via email

FEELING LUCKY BUT CURIOUS: Of course this decision is entirely yours, but the advice I would give you is to take some time to absorb the news you've received first before you go off on a search at this point in time. You obviously have a lot to think about, and your mind will turn over and over now, thinking many new thoughts. You'll be experiencing new feelings for sure in the coming days, weeks and months at the very least.

As a young person, you should have plenty of time once you become a legal adult at 18, or even sometime when you're slightly older, to do a search for your biological parents if you choose to do so. That option is available to you at any time, so in my opinion there's no need to rush in that direction right away.

MY BROTHER ABUSED OUR TRUST AND BROKE HIS PROMISE

DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school senior and the oldest sibling in our family. I'm a girl who likes to get along with my family, but I also like to do things in my own way as much as possible. My younger brother, who is almost 16, saw me doing something a few months ago that my parents definitely would not approve of. He happened to be passing by after school one day on his way home when he noticed this. He also saw that I looked directly at him, so when I eventually got home, I immediately went to him to discuss the matter.

I got him to agree to promise not to say anything to our parents, and he then leveraged what he saw by wanting me to do half of his family chores for the next three weeks. I of course did this, and I not only helped him with his chores for three weeks but also did the half I agreed to for a full month just to be sure to seal his cooperation. I went above and beyond!

Well, a few months later my younger brother got mad at me because I told him I couldn't give him a ride home from school one day in my car because I had to be somewhere with my friends. So that day he went over to a friend's house to hang out instead and waited for that friend's older brother to come home and give him a ride back to our house. While he was there with his friend, the father came home early and caught both boys, including my brother, drinking a beer!

This father drove my brother home to our house and told my parents everything. As he was being scolded, punished and set up to be put on restriction, he blurted out to our parents what I did months ago and said that because I never got punished for it, he shouldn't be punished either!

We both wound up being grounded for six weeks each. Needless to say, I'm beyond upset and mad at my brother. What can I do to get even with this cheating, immature brat? What really ticks me off is, I did all those chores for him for nothing. — He Double-Crossed Me, via email

HE DOUBLE-CROSSED ME: What you're missing here is that you got caught in the riptide of a core problem that was of your own making. You admitted in your letter that you did something that you knew was very wrong, and when your brother witnessed it, your first instinct was to manipulate him to hide your secret.

In my opinion, you deserve the grounding that you're getting, but fortunately for you, there's a silver lining to your story. You've learned a hard lesson in a tough way, and if you're wise from here, you will never repeat the series of mistakes you made during this episode.

Forget about trying to get even with your brother, but make the mental note that he can never be trusted again. Focus on controlling yourself, your behavior and your decision-making. You have an opportunity to get something out of this mess, which is a valuable experience that will hopefully keep you from repeating similar mistakes in the future.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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