DR. WALLACE: As a girl in her junior year of high school, I've been out on my share of dates and I've had a couple of serious relationships. The last one seemed very promising, but nearly three months we suffered a bad breakup that is definitely permanent.

Since then, I've spent a lot of time at home and very little time socializing outside of normal school hours. I feel sad and disappointed and haven't been able to bring myself to fully get over what happened to me.

My older brother, who is a senior and popular athlete at our school, recently called me "spineless" because he said I won't stand up for myself, and "move ahead with my life," as he puts it.

I'd like to magically feel better, but the sadness and melancholy I've been feeling seems to permeate my mood during most of my waking hours. I don't feel deeply depressed or anything like that, but I do feel blue and lethargic most of the time. How can I seek to escape the loop I'm presently in? — Feeling Stuck in a Rut, via email

FEELING STUCK IN A RUT: Why not do something bold, like challenging your condescending older brother to set you up on a "quality" blind date soon? Since you noted that he is quite popular, he likely knows some fellow athletes or other friends who are perhaps suitable.

This may sound like the very last thing you want to do at this moment, but I see several benefits that could potentially exist for you here. First of all, your brother won't want to embarrass himself, so I believe he'll sincerely try to match you up with the best possible guy or two who could be suitable blind dates for you. Having a date on the horizon will force you to re-engage with your personal pride and I trust you'll soon be wanting to dress your best, look your best and make the best first impression you possibly can.

I further suggest you look at a blind date or two as opportunities to put yourself back out there, rather than finding someone immediately that's going to mesh with you perfectly. It may take some time before you find someone suitable to date on a regular basis, but I trust going through this exercise will most likely help to elevate your spirits significantly.

HE KEEPS CANCELING OUR PLANS TO GAME

DR. WALLACE: I'm dating a guy who I've come to learn spends a lot of his free time doing online gaming. Apparently, he competes with people around the country and even around the world in various gaming tournaments.

Unfortunately, I'm the kind of girl who thinks online gaming is a huge waste of time. I have no interest in it at all. It wouldn't be a problem for me that this is how he chooses to spend part of his free time, but in the three weeks I've known him closely, I've started to realize that this is a massive priority in his life.

In these three weeks, we've gone out on four dates in total, and the dates have gone reasonably well, but there's another side of the coin. He has canceled five of our dates, most of them on short notice because of special "competitions" that cropped up that he "absolutely had to participate in."

So instead of nine dates in three weeks, or three per week, I've only been out with him four times and already I feel a rising level of frustration. I'm not the type to make ultimatums, but I'm feeling more exasperated by the day. What should I do here? — His Gaming is Already a Problem, via email

HIS GAMING IS ALREADY A PROBLEM: I suggest you move on. It's obvious that his priority is spending his free time with this endeavor, and it supersedes his interest in a relationship with you. It could be that for him at this point in his life, the only relationship that might be sustained is if he found a compatible female gamer, who similarly shared his passion for that hobby.

Cutting things off here early on will allow you to re-enter the dating world at your own pace. Your anxiety and frustration level should quickly subside, and you already have hard evidence that he's canceled over 50% of the dates the two of you committed to going out on together. That does not sound to me like a recipe for long-term dating success.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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