DR. WALLACE: My mother recently got into a huge argument with her parents, who live about an hour away from us.
I don't know all the details, but I've always had a great relationship with my grandparents on my mother's side.
I always give my grandma a nice birthday present and a handmade card. It's kind of a tradition, and I'm looking forward to doing it again next month. However, I heard my mother tell my father the other day that she's not going to visit for her mother's birthday, and she wants our whole family to stay away.
I still really want to see my grandmother and celebrate her birthday with her. I already know not to say anything to my mom about this, but do you think I should approach my father and ask him if he could drive me over there next month for at least a few hours to see my grandma? Or should I just not say anything to anyone because it might cause another major family blowup?
I don't want to cause more arguments and difficulties within our family, but at the same time, I really want to celebrate my grandma's birthday with her in person. — I Just Want To See My Grandma, via email
I JUST WANT TO SEE MY GRANDMA: I do recommend that you speak directly with your father about this issue. Your mother and grandmother may have tension between them, but that has nothing to do with you.
Be honest with your father about your wishes. Explain that you want to respect your mother and her perspective as much as possible, but not to the point of becoming ostracized from your beloved grandmother.
MY CLASSROOM IS CONSTANTLY DISRUPTED
DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school teacher, and I one freshman who is beyond out of control. Our school's administrative office tends to treat him with kid gloves, and this youngster takes full advantage of pushing every single possible limit he can.
Even though he comes from a two-parent family, he apparently has experienced zero discipline and lacks social manners on an epic scale. This kid is as disruptive as a fish is wet. It's beyond unfair to every other student in class as their ability to learn is curtailed both in terms of time used for class lessons and continuity of the thought process needed to learn new material.
Since I'm not receiving enough support at school, what else can I possibly do about this situation? — A Very Frustrated High School Teacher, via email
A VERY FRUSTRATED HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER: My advice is to see if you can get a teacher's aide or local parent to sit in the classroom with you as an assistant. Obtain clearance for this in advance from your school's administration.
Then, have this assistant document all of the behavioral problems that are going on regarding this particular student.
Following that, you can again meet with your school's administration and request a meeting with the parents to review the situation. You can bring the assistant's documentation to this meeting for the purpose of seeking suitable solutions to these disruptions.
If your own school's administration cannot improve this situation, I feel your next step should be to go to your local superintendent of schools and explain your situation. You'll have documentation of the disruptions and a previous meeting with your school's administration to bring to the district superintendent.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Christian Bowen at Unsplash
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