DR. WALLACE: I'm dating a girl who seems to enjoy having our relationship constantly swing wildly from happiness to despair and back again. I'm 17, and I've known her now for about six months, and for five of those months we've dated exclusively.

There are times that she tells me she loves me and acts very sweet towards me. But those days never seem to last more than a week consecutively. Soon enough, she will find reasons to treat me very badly, take me for granted, talk down to me and even pick fights with me unnecessarily. During these times of strife, I notice that she flirts with different guys even though so far, she hasn't left me for any of them.

Part of me is exhausted dealing with the constant ups and downs, and I've been thinking and fantasizing about breaking up with her. But another part of me truly cares about her, and I'm not looking forward to being single again and having to start all over trying to find a new relationship.

What do you think I should do at this point? Are there other strategies I could use to reduce the swings in our relationship? — Tired of the Drama, via email

TIRED OF THE DRAMA: In my opinion, any relationship partner who would run hot and cold and intentionally flirt with others during the bad times is not suitable for a long-term relationship.

You deserve to be treated better, and if you take a step back from this relationship, I trust that you'll find new opportunities that will be much more comfortable and enjoyable.

Look at this relationship as a learning experience. If you can be the one to end it, you'll have your pride and emotional balance intact, which are both very good things.

MY SISTER LAUGHED OFF MY IDEA

DR. WALLACE: My sister and I get along great, and we have done many things together over the years. Even though we have different personalities and interests, we've gotten along great, and there's a solid bond between us as sisters.

She's a senior in high school, and I'm a sophomore. She had a boyfriend a couple years ago, and since then she's hardly dated at all. She's busy playing on two varsity sports teams, plus she's obsessed about getting into a good college as she has her life and career plans already laid out in her head.

I figure I have plenty of time still to make my longer-term plans, but I do have a current goal. I've only been able to date for the last six months, and after experiencing several "one and done" dates, I finally found a guy that I've been seeing regularly for the last three months.

I've always wanted to go on a double date with my older sister! I brought this up to her the other day, and she literally just smirked and blew me off. I don't think she understood that I'm very sincere about this since I look up to her in many aspects of life. We will only be together in this high school for a few more months, and then she'll be off to college and experiencing the rest of her life.

Should I just let go of this dream, or is there another way to try to get her to go at least one time on a double date with me and my boyfriend? I know if we do it just once, it will give us something to talk and laugh about for the rest of our lives. — Really Want To Arrange a Double Date, via email

REALLY WANT TO ARRANGE A DOUBLE DATE: I feel there could be a lack of communication and understanding between you and your sister. She might feel that you are trying to set her up, and therefore, she may view your request as meddling in her personal life.

But as I understand it, you don't really care who she would date; you're interested in having a double date just one time with your older sister while you're both in high school.

Instead of asking her to go on a double date again in a week or two, find a good time when the two of you are having fun or doing something enjoyable to explain to her exactly what your motivations are. Mention that you just want the experience and that she would be doing you a favor or perhaps giving you a gift by doing this.

Tell her openly you don't care at all who she would date for this purpose, and that you'll stay out of it accordingly. I think that's your best shot. If she still doesn't go for it, it's time for you to move on and stop obsessing about it.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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