DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 16 and has been dating now for about six months, ever since my last birthday. I've dated several different guys, and although most were very nice, I just didn't feel much of a connection with most of them.

Then I met the guy I've been dating for the past two months! We not only get along really great; we have a lot in common. I hope to be able to grow closer to him, and also hope he grows closer to me over time as we get to know each other better.

He treats me very well, and when we are alone, he treats me like a princess and sincerely professes his affection for me and his devotion to me. So, everything should be perfect, right? Well, there is one thing that really bothers me about him. It's that while he's so sweet and affectionate, when we're out of the view of everyone at our school, he kind of acts aloof toward me on our high school campus. It's not that he ignores me, but he won't hold my hand while we walk together, and he has never once kissed me in public.

We're basically the same age, as he's only three months older than me. If I'm mature enough to feel kissing in public or even holding hands is no big deal, why can't he be similarly as mature as I am on this issue? He's certainly demonstrated that he's mature enough in every other aspect of life. For example, he's been able to talk with my parents in a very mature and respectful way, and they already adore him and feel he's a good fit for me. — Need His Maturity in Public, via email

NEED HIS MATURITY IN PUBLIC: It may not be that he is or is not as mature as you are regarding being comfortable enough to be affectionate in public. It might be that he's a bit shy or self-conscious in front of his friends. This could be due to his lack of dating experience and lack of complete confidence at this point in his life. For example, if you "broke things off" with him suddenly, he might feel ashamed in front of others who knew the two of you were quite publicly dating.

Your letter did not mention if his friends even know that the two of you are currently dating, but in any case, I suggest that you give him time on this issue and not press him quite yet.

See if the next two months go as well as the past two months did, and then either ask him to hold your hand in public or, if you feel bold, gently take his hand in yours near the end of one of your Friday school days, smile at him and walk calmly out of school as the two of you each head home as you usually do.

MY PARENTS ARE OVER THE TOP ON THIS

DR. WALLACE: I'm about to become a college student this fall as I'm finishing up my senior year in high school. I have a college already selected, and the good news is that I've been accepted to this school, so I'm all set for next year.

Recently, my parents gave me a frank talk about college life. I feel this is because my school next fall is about three hours away by vehicle, and I'll be living on campus on my own. Their talk centered around alcohol and drugs, and they of course strongly advised me to steer clear of these substances at all times. They even went so far as to tell me that the course of my life could be changed dramatically, even due to one bad decision if I were to let my guard down. They also went into some crazy discussion about how half of all the prisoners in America's prisons were there due to the negative influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

Not only do I feel they are exaggerating, I feel that mentioning prison to a young guy like me who will be off to college in late August is ridiculous. I'm not about to land in prison anytime soon. Why do my parents exaggerate so much? Are they trying to scare me? — Not Worried in the Least, via email

NOT WORRIED IN THE LEAST: If anything, your mother and father may have dramatically underestimated the correlation of prisoners doing time due to involvement with drugs or alcohol.

Over the years, I've read studies that stated that up to 80% of prisoners at given points in time were there due to either drugs, alcohol or both. Universities as prestigious as Columbia University, particularly their National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, authored these statistics.

And as for your certainty that you'd never end up in prison during your college years, I hope that proves to be true for you in your individual case. But any college student who may exhibit the poor judgment to drive drunk or high could be involved in a traffic collision that might result in jail time. I don't mean to sound morbid, but I do aim to point out to you that there is a lot of potentially preventive wisdom in the concepts your parents are outlining for you. And they are doing this, no doubt, because they love you and care about you and your future a great deal. I suggest you heed their advice.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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