DR. WALLACE: My best friend is 17, and his parents allow him to drink one small glass of red wine with his dinners in their home! I discovered this because I was invited to enjoy a meal at their home last weekend.

My friend's father had an extra empty wine glass in his hand, and he actually asked me if I'd like to try a small sip of a special cabernet vintage that his family regularly enjoyed! I was startled and said, "No thanks, but I appreciate the offer."

I was quite surprised by this whole situation! My parents are very strict when it comes to alcohol and of course drugs or substances of any sort when it comes to me and my brother and sister. We all know we are not allowed to drink even a sip of alcohol.

Later in the evening, I asked my friend why his father gave him wine at dinner, and he said that his parents have the philosophy for their children to learn to drink alcohol responsibly at home so that they will not abuse it by going behind the family's back to drink it elsewhere irresponsibly.

What do you make of this? Is it all right for underage minors to drink at home and for their parents to offer wine to other kids that are not their own? — I Was Shocked, via email

I WAS SHOCKED: In no way were the actions of these parents appropriate. The law states that minors under 21 years old are not allowed to consume alcohol, no matter the source of it or the venue in which it is consumed.

And for this father to offer wine to you was extremely inappropriate on many levels. I'm sure if your parents found out about his offer, not only would they be upset enough to likely pay this family a visit, but you would likely be barred from eating future dinners in their home.

I HAVE A NICE BOYFRIEND, BUT ONE TRAIT OF HIS IS WORRISOME

DR. WALLACE: I really like my boyfriend, but he has one trait that worries me. On the good side he's kind, smart, funny and he treats me like a true princess! He often brings me flowers or writes me poems.

We have been dating now for six months, and I just turned 17 three months ago. He's close to my age as he's just a bit over 17 and a half.

So, everything should be just fine, but his one glaring negative trait is his jealousy when it comes to me! If another guy at school looks at me for more than two seconds, he scolds the guy and is ready to start a fight at any moment. I know this because although most guys just walk away, one talked back to him in a negative tone and the two of them immediately threw punches.

A school administrator was called in to break up the fight, and my boyfriend and this other guy both received three-day suspensions from school.

Now my boyfriend prances around our high school campus like he's the toughest guy in the school and he likes it if everyone notices that.

But when he's with me alone on a date or walking home from school, he's a perfect gentleman, so I'm pretty confused. I should also mention that he tracks my whereabouts via text messages when we are not together. He's always asking me where I am and who I'm with. But since I'm always loyal to him, there has never been a problem. Usually, I'm just hanging out with my girlfriends or shopping with my mom. Do you think I have a great guy here, or should I be worried about his possessiveness when it comes to me? I've been hoping he would grow out of his jealousy since we've been together for a long while now and I've never given him a reason to worry about anything. — Happy for Now, but Unsure of the Future, via email

HAPPY FOR NOW BUT UNSURE OF THE FUTURE: I owe you the honest truth from my perspective. You wrote in to get advice, and my advice is to be very, very careful of this young man. He's already regularly demonstrating "red flag" possessive behavior.

The fact that he is extremely jealous to the point of fighting over basically nothing and that he's tracking your whereabouts when he's not there are very ominous signs.

Should you continue along in this relationship, you will likely experience an escalation of his possessive and controlling behavior. Men like him don't often "grow out of it" over time. In fact, the opposite usually occurs.

Despite his nice behavior toward you in private for now, my long-term advice is to move on from this relationship as soon and as safely as you can. Do announce your intentions to your family, especially your father and any brothers, uncles and other males who love and care for you, in case backup for your safety becomes needed. If he creates problems for you should you wish to end the relationship, your school administration should also be notified immediately. Controlling and extreme jealous behavior usually are the early warning signs of much deeper problems to come in the future. My advice is to extricate yourself from this situation now before it becomes even more difficult to do so in the future.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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