DR. WALLACE: I've been dating a guy for almost two years. We don't live together, but the way things have been going, I'm reasonably sure we'll get married someday.

My guy is super sweet and nice the majority of the time, but he does have a bit of a temper. Well, maybe I should say he occasionally has a pretty hot temper. For example, a few days ago, a cat crossed the street in front of his truck ... and he sped up and tried to run it over. Luckily, this cat was quick and ran away to safety before he could get really close to it.

This really shocked me. I told him that if he tries to hit an animal on purpose, he's crazy. Of course, he got mad at me for this, and he proceeded to tell me that at his apartment building some cats keep him up at night because they rummage through the trash cans and howl a lot. He thinks cats are useless animals and that they should all be exterminated. He scolded me severely for "taking the cat's side" in our conversation. The scary thing is that he was not kidding even one bit with these unsavory comments.

What should I do? One minute, I think I'm in love with him, but then something like this recent episode happens and I end up being pretty scared of him. — Mixed Signals, via email

MIXED SIGNALS: Any person who goes on regular "terror binges" is not safe to be with. Any person who intentionally seeks to harm, torture, maim or kill a defenseless animal is not to be trusted.

My advice is bold, but it is based upon hearing many sad stories similar to yours over the years. I suggest you end this relationship immediately. Your boyfriend's irrational behavior far outweighs whatever you many occasionally feel is fun or decent about him. He might benefit from professional help, and he likely knows this. It would explain why he gets defensive and lashes out whenever you challenge his behavior.

Although you signed your letter "Mixed Signals," I would posit that he is not mixing his signals at all; rather, he's showing you exactly who he is. Do yourself a favor and move on.

HUSBAND SHOULD ENCOURAGE FAMILY HARMONY

DR. WALLACE: Six months ago, my husband and I moved in with his in-laws, after COVID-19 caused my husband to lose his job. In the beginning, it was fine and things were working out with them and my baby. But now, things are different. Both of my husband's parents drink quite heavily every night, and then they spend an hour or more arguing about anything and everything you can imagine.

This development has made me very depressed, and now I want to go to my parents' house. My husband says he wants me to stand up to his mother, but I don't feel like it's my place to do so. I don't want to return to my parents' house without my husband. What should I do? — Stuck in Turmoil, via email

STUCK IN TURMOIL: The best solution for you, your husband and your baby is to move into a place of your own. But since you can't afford it right now, the second-best solution is for you to try to find a way to peacefully get along with your in-laws.

During these times of this worldwide pandemic, everyone is making changes and compromises in an attempt to make things work. I believe it's up to your husband to insist that his parents show you and your baby the proper amount of household harmony and respect with their behavior. No doubt they are under pressure, too, but they should still do their best to maintain harmony — for the baby's sake, at the very least.

You should be patient with both your husband and your in-laws and do everything you can to keep your family together and harmonious. Work with your husband toward a mutual goal of financial independence and a place of your own as soon as possible. In the meantime, encourage your husband to have a few heart-to-heart discussions with his parents for everyone's benefit — especially theirs!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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