DR. WALLACE: You will find my letter most unusual, but I'd really like for you to give me some useful advice, if possible. I graduated from high school last June. I'm 19. I work for my grandfather, and I have a pretty good job. Last September, I went to a Chicago Cubs baseball game with a couple of friends, and there I met a really nice girl who lives in Rockford, about 60 miles from Chicago. We have gone out once or twice a month since we met that day, and I have really gotten to like her. When we met, I told her my age, and she said she was also 19, and she looked like it.

Last week, she drove down from Rockford to see me, and we went out to a movie and dinner. During our conversation, we were talking about college. Out of the blue, she told me she wasn't 19, but she was 22 and will soon graduate from University of Illinois. She also said she has a teaching job (second grade) lined up at an elementary school in Rockford. I was so taken aback that I couldn't eat the rest of my meal (and that's very unusual for me, since I'm a "foodie").

I've given this a lot of thought lately, and I'd like to hear from you on whether I should continue seeing this older lady or whether I should stick with someone closer to my own age — or someone that has an age that does not change with every conversation. At our recent dinner, she apologized and said she had told me she was 19 so she wouldn't scare me away. She went on to say that she really liked me right from the start and was worried that since I was 19, I might turn down dates with her had I known her true age. Now I'm definitely confused, but I must admit that other than this age snafu, we do get along really well. — Younger Man, Chicago

YOUNGER MAN: I always advocate teens date teens close to their own age — that is, while they're in school. When both parties are at least 18 and out of high school, age differences are not nearly as important as they are for younger teens who are growing into maturity at different rates. Continue to date this young lady as long as you both enjoy each other's company, but do insist that she promise to be fully truthful with you from now on, and of course, you should be fully honest with her, too.

YOUR BABY WANTS YOU TO QUIT SMOKING

DR. WALLACE: I'm 20, and I just found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I are very excited. Both of us love children. I am a smoker and have been known to drain a few cocktails on occasion. I don't know if I can give up smoking, but I will absolutely stop drinking. How bad would it be if I continued to smoke, just a little here and there, during my pregnancy? I usually only smoke five (or fewer) cigarettes per day — Mother to Be, via email

MOTHER TO BE: You really don't have a choice if you want to protect the health of your unborn child. You must stop smoking immediately. I know this will be hard, but you do have the ultimate motivating factor to summon up your strength to quit. Nicotine and carbon monoxide from smoking can retard the growth of a fetus such that a baby's weight will likely be below normal. In addition, females who smoke during pregnancy are much more likely to have a stillborn baby or an infant who dies soon after birth.

Nicotine is a powerful drug, and smoking during pregnancy places your baby at serious risk. So does the consumption of alcohol. Needless to say, all pregnant women must place the health of their unborn child first.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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