DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend belongs to a gang. When he is with me alone, he is the sweetest guy on earth, but when he is with his gang friends, he treats me like dirt. I know that he cares for me, but I also know he cares for the gang and his image with the gang members.

I hate being around him unless we are alone, which isn't very often. What should I do? — Evita, McAllen, Tex.

EVITA: Life is too short to waste it being treated like dirt. Give your boyfriend a choice - the gang or you. Make him well aware that he can't have both.

If he chooses the gang (and I think that he will) stop seeing him immediately — no ifs, ands or buts! Find a guy who will respect you and treat you like the wonderful young woman that you are.

FIND COURAGE AGAIN SOON

DR. WALLACE: Last week I had the courage to ask a girl who attends the same church as I do to go to a movie with me. I was very happy when she said yes. I had a great time and I thought she did, too. After the movie we went to a restaurant for a late snack. I got her home 10 minutes before her 11:30 p.m. curfew. I said hello to her parents before and after the date.

The next time I saw her was yesterday at church. She talked to me, but didn't seem overly friendly, though she did thank me for taking her out and said she enjoyed the evening. That's all she said, and then she went home with her mother.

I really would like to take her out again, but from the vibes she gave me, I'm not so sure she wants to see me anymore. I'd feel crushed if I asked her out again and she made up a reason to say no. I'm not the outspoken type — rather, I'm sort of shy. Both of us are 17. What should I do? — Nameless, Goshen, Ind.

NAMELESS: You found your courage once — now you have to find it again. If you don't ask her for a second date, you will guarantee that you never see her socially again. Sometimes "vibes" can be misleading, the result of a passing mood, or some circumstance that has nothing to do with you.

So ask her out! If she says yes, she really meant that she enjoyed being with you. Rest assured, if the answer is no, you won't be crushed. Disappointed, yes, but not crushed. Every guy has been told, "Thanks, but no, thanks." If it happens to you, you'll know you need to look elsewhere for an eligible young lady. But then you'll be a veteran of the dating game, and asking the next girl out won't seem like an impossible task.

PARENTS SHOULD NOT FORCE A CAREER ON A CHILD

DR. WALLACE: My dad is an attorney and he wants me to be an attorney. He really has strong feelings about this. I'm a high school junior and I'd rather be a physical education teacher and a coach. My dad says he knows what's best for me. I'd like your opinion, please. — Nameless, Moline, Ill.

NAMELESS: Parents can encourage their children toward a particular profession, but should never force them into a career that doesn't interest them. The transition between childhood and adulthood is called adolescence; a major role parents must play during this time is to let go and allow the young person to begin making decisions about his or her own life.

A parent who maintains an inflexible, "I know what's best for you" attitude toward his teen is inviting lasting unhappiness.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.