DR. WALLACE: I know that the eating disorder anorexia is really self-starvation and can lead to death. What I'd like to know is, besides not eating, what are the first symptoms? I think my best friend, who is also my cousin, might be anorexic, but the rest of my family doesn't think so. I think it's better to be safe than sorry. My cousin is 17 and will graduate this June. —Sally, Springfield, Mass.

SALLY: You are absolutely correct. Almost every illness is easier to eliminate when treated in the early stages. Most young females who suffer from anorexia nervosa (90 percent of the victims fall into this category) aren't more than a few pounds overweight when they begin dieting. But before long they show anorexia's classic symptoms: a loss of 25 percent or more of their body weight, a refusal to eat even though hungry, continuous thoughts of food, cessation of menstruation and a feeling of being fat, regardless of how thin they are.

Anorexia strikes most often either around age 12 or just when a teen is about to graduate from high school, when differences between parents' expectations and peer pressure may be most acute or when growing up and leaving home seems most frightening.

Make sure your best friend's parents read my response to your letter.

MOM IS NOT SELECTING YOUR FRIENDS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and I'm in the 10th grade, but my mother treats me like I am in preschool. I've got three very good friends and my mother doesn't like any of them because they happen to smoke. I know that smoking is bad for your health, but I'm not going to smoke just because they do. This is really all the bad stuff that they do except swear once in a while.

My mom keeps harping that she wants me to quit hanging around with these friends and find friends who have "good moral character." Why does she believe these girls don't have "good moral character"? Smoking doesn't affect their moral character. Never have any of these friends pressured me into smoking or swearing.

One of the reasons my mom doesn't know these girls too well is because she doesn't want me inviting them to our house. I always read your column and you have said several times that parents should not choose their children's friends. Please say it again so I can get my mother off of my back. - Cindy, Newark, N.J.

CINDY: It's true that I believe parents should not select their children's friends. But in your case, your mother is not selecting your friends; she is simply expressing her unhappiness with the friends you have chosen and wants you to select different ones — who neither smoke nor swear.

TAPE IT TO THE TELEPHONE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 82 and one of your faithful readers. Recently, you wrote a column giving excellent tips for babysitters. You told them to dial 911 when an emergency occurs. Even though a sitter might know this information, it's easy to forget during a time of crisis. I suggest it be written down and taped to the telephone. —Agnes, Davenport, Iowa.

AGNES: Thanks for sharing this useful information, and thanks for being a faithful reader. I focus on reaching teens, but consider it a bonus when I can reach readers of all ages.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.