DR. WALLACE: I'm 18, a very good student, and I receive excellent grades. I also know a lot about dating and "aggressive guys." I have a girl cousin who is 14 and is just starting to date boys. She recently told me that her mother has never talked to her about "the birds and the bees," so she asked me to fill her in. I told her I would and we've talked several times so she now knows the basic facts and a few myths that are untrue. (Like the myth that a girl can become pregnant if she allows a boy to give her a long, deep kiss.)
Then one day my cousin made a big mistake asking her mom about how a girl can get an abortion if she gets pregnant. Of course, her mother blew her mind and thought her daughter was going to have a baby. My cousin told her she did not have sex, but she was just wondering about it because I had been telling her useful information about dating and sex. I had told her to always insist that a boy use a condom if they had sex, and to never have sex unless she was sure that she was in love with the guy and he also loved her. That's because some guys only tell you that they love you when they don't really love you.
I did not want to see my cousin wind up getting an abortion like I had to do. I figured that "an ounce of prevention was better than a pound of cure." But now we have a big family feud and my aunt told my mother that she didn't want me to talk to her daughter ever again and that she didn't want her daughter to end up a tramp like me. Then my mom got mad and told her sister that she never wanted to see her or her family again.
Now my mother is telling me that I made a big mistake, but I don't think so. I was only trying to educate a relative and that was because her own mother had failed to give her needed information. Do you think what I did was wrong? — Nameless, Erie, Penn.
NAMELESS: Your cousin should have asked her mother to have the discussion about sex with her. All information should have been given to her by her mother, and not by an 18-year-old cousin, even if you were already well-informed.
When you found out that your cousin's mother was late discussing sex with her daughter, it would have been better to suggest to your aunt that it was time she needed to have the discussion because your cousin came to you for the information. It wasn't your responsibility to discuss the subject without the consent of the girl's mother.
You made a serious mistake taking it upon yourself to discuss sex with your young cousin!
Many Residential Fires Caused by Smokers
DR. WALLACE: I'm really glad that you always point out the health hazards to young people and tell them not to start smoking, and if they do smoke, to quit smoking.
I also want to add that smoking can also be a serious fire hazard. We had a very close call about a month ago when my dad fell asleep while smoking a cigarette. His bed started smoldering, and because we had a smoke alarm, the alarm went off. If it hadn't gone off, our house could have burned down and we all could have lost our lives!
But if my father weren't a smoker, we wouldn't have had this frightening experience. We were very lucky that our smoke alarm woke everyone up. — Ginger, Waterloo, Iowa.
GINGER: According to the American Council on Sciences and Health, residential fires, many caused by careless smokers, are the second most frequent cause of accidental deaths in the home, claiming over 5,000 lives in the United States annually.
Thanks for your reminder that a careless smoker can cause a serious fire and loss of life, and that an active smoke detector can save lives!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
View Comments