DR. WALLACE: Is there ever a time when you would agree to let a teen stay at her school rather than accompany her family on a move to another city?

Our daughter is in the 11th grade and is doing everything she can to convince us it would be in her best interest to stay at her high school until she graduates, rather than move with her younger sister and her parents to Pittsburgh, where my husband has been transferred. Ashley is an excellent student and very popular. She is treasurer for her junior class and president of the pep squad. She was planning to run for student body president next year.

We are a close-knit family and not having our daughter with us for over a year is not our wish. Ashley said she would be with us during summer break and at all school breaks of a week or more. She would be able to live with my sister and her family. I also need to mention that Ashley's boyfriend is a star athlete at her high school. —- Mother, Erie, Pa.

MOTHER: This is a tough call. As a former high school principal, I can sympathize with your family's dilemma. I can also fully understand your daughter's intense hope to remain at her current school where she is happy and popular.

Naturally, I believe that under most circumstances families should stay together and not be fragmented by a move. But I generally make an exception if the student is in, or about to enter, the 12th grade and can live with a relative or close family friend.

Ashley is only in the 11th grade. She still has a lot of time left in her high school career — to make new friends and find her way into the social life of her new school. If she stayed in Erie, she would be separated from her family for a long time. All of this leads me to advise that she go with you to Pittsburgh.

Still, I recognize that this is a borderline situation, especially considering Ashley's ambition to be class president next year. Without her family around her for support, would she still want such a responsibility? You need to make this call, based on her level of self-reliance and maturity. The discussions you have leading to a decision that everyone can accept will strengthen your family no matter what you ultimately decide.

Since Erie is only about 125 miles from Pittsburg, the family would be able to see Ashley often if the final answer is that she will remain living in Erie with your sister.

You are a 100 Percent Nonsmoker

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and recently filled out an application to work as a food server at a nice restaurant. I really would like the job. One of the questions was, "Do you now smoke?" My answer was "no." The next question was, "Have you ever smoked?" I had to think a few minutes and then I answered "no."

When I was 14, my best friend swiped a pack of cigarettes from her mom and she talked me into smoking one. It's the only time I ever had a lit cigarette in my mouth. I tried to inhale the smoke, but I started coughing and never really got any smoke down into my lungs.

To this day I regret that I "smoked" that one cigarette. Should I have been totally honest and answered the question with a yes answer? I'm not losing any sleep over this, but I also want to be honest. - Nameless, Lake Charles, La.

NAMELESS: I'm happy you didn't lose any sleep over this. Neither did I. Without a doubt, you can be classified as a 100 percent nonsmoker!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Keith Allison