DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and my goal is to be an actor. I've got the looks and the body and all the other necessary things that could get me noticed. My concern is that I live in a relatively small town far from the bright lights of New York or Hollywood. This is going to make it hard for me to get noticed. Is there any place I could write where I could be given information on becoming an actor? - Margo, Glasgow, Ky.

MARGO: Maybe there was a time when actors were given roles as a result of their looks, but, thank goodness, those days are gone forever. What matters are "all the other necessary things," otherwise known as "talent."

The best chance you have to reach your goal is to become part of every dramatic presentation you can at your school, church, or community playhouse. Take as many speech, drama, and English classes as possible at school and do your best in all your classes.

It takes a lot of hard work to develop your native talent as an actor. Plan to attend college. The drama departments at colleges and universities provide superb training. Many of today's stars got their big break performing at the college level.

I WANT OUR DAUGHTER TO BE A 'BEST MOTHER'

DR. WALLACE: Some time ago you had a column that contained Ten Commandments for Parents to help their children. Our daughter is now a mother to twin boys who are 4 years old. I'd like her to have the opportunity to read these "Ten Commandments" so she can be the best mother possible. Could you please reprint it? — Mother, Michigan City, Ind.

MOTHER: "Ten Commandments for Parents to Improve Self-Esteem for Their Children" came from the group called Family Connection. Your daughter and all other parents should attach the "commandments" securely on their refrigerator doors!

1. Spend quality time each day with your children. This is an opportunity to hear what they did and what's on their minds.

2. Make positive statements to your children as often as possible. No one has enough armor to withstand a constant barrage of "no" and "don't."

3. When disagreements occur, argue only about inaccurate facts or statements. Remember that everyone has opinions. Sometimes we must agree that we disagree.

4. Reach out and touch. Everyone needs it! Everyone wants it! A touch (especially a hug) will communicate much more than just words.

5. Smile! Be happy around your children.

6. Allow children to develop responsibility. Basically, in order to be a responsible family member, one must have responsibility.

7. Be honest with your children. Children will undoubtedly learn their patterns from parents. Honesty also shows children you trust them.

8. Separate the behavior from the individual. In problem situations, make certain the child knows that the behavior, not the child, is unacceptable.

9. Deal with the here-and-now issues. Dredging up the past may serve to further block communication within the family.

10. Work on your own positive self-esteem. Happy, well-adjusted human beings who genuinely care for others make excellent parents!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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