DR. WALLACE: I have a simple problem, but I'm having a complex time trying to make the right decision. A guy at my church asked me to go to an upcoming church function about a month ago and I told him yes. The guy is nice, but there could never be anything romantic between us. Don't get me wrong, he's not a nerd or anything like that, and I do like him as a friend. This event takes place about a month from now.

Since I agreed to go to the church event, I've met another guy and I really like him and want to be with him every spare moment I have. Now comes the decision time. Should I still go to the function with the guy at church, or should I tell him I like another guy and would rather not go with him to the church function?

The guy that I like said that he doesn't really care if I go to the church function, but deep down I think he wants me to go out with him that night and that's what I would really like to do. My brother thinks I should keep my church date, but my sister says to call him and break the date. My parents have left it up to me.

What's your advice? — Nameless, St. George, Utah

NAMELESS: You accepted an invitation to attend a church function with a nice guy who is a friend. Go to that function with him with the idea of having an enjoyable time!

PARENTS SHOULD TRUST CHILDREN UNTIL...

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and I'm a pretty good kid. I get good grades; I'm popular at school and I'm not on the wild side, but neither am I a "goody-goody." My father is on medical leave from his job because he had a heart bypass operation. Now whenever I go out on a date or out with my friends, my mother always throws in, "Make sure you're home at 11:30 or you'll cause him to have a heart attack." Or, "Don't do anything when you're out that might kill your father when he finds out."

This just ruins my time away from the house because I'm always thinking my father might have a heart attack and even die because of something I do. Please print my letter and tell Mom to lay off the guilt trips. She always reads your column.— Lauren, Orlando, Fla.

LAUREN'S MOM: It's important to instill in your daughter the desire to do what's right, but control founded in guilt is superficial and ineffective. Parents should trust children until that trust is abused, if it ever is.

THEY WERE FOOLING AROUND BEFORE THEY MARRIED

DR. WALLACE: I recently found out that my parents were married one month before I was born. You know what that means: They were "fooling around" long before they got married. This has made me feel very disappointed. What should I do about this? — Nameless, Galesburg, Ill.

NAMELESS: There is nothing that you can do about it. Be thankful that your parents cared enough about each other and their unborn child to form a family. Judge your mother and father in their role as parents and don't concern yourself with things that happened before you were born.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: South African Tourism