DR. WALLACE: I'd like to encourage Abby in Flint, Michigan not to lower her moral standards just to party with the popular guys that she'd like to date. I know how she feels being left out because she doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or indulge in sexual activities. In fact, I only went out on four dates when I was a senior in high school, but I had several good friends. I always felt left out and depressed because I wasn't a member of the "in crowd." I'm glad now that I did not allow myself to lower my standards just to find someone to ask me out.

So, Abby, hang in there and don't ever give up your moral integrity. There are many wonderful guys in the world (like my husband), and they know the meaning of real love. They help their girlfriends to be the best they can be and will never require their standards to be lowered. I believe that the happiest and most enduring marriages are between two people of high moral standards. — Madison, Jackson, Miss.

MADISON: It takes self-discipline and courage not to lower your standards to gain acceptance. You provide proof that keeping high standards can lead to true love and the ultimate happiness that you and your husband share. Thanks for writing. Your experience will influence many impressionable young adults.

CONTACT A SCHOOL AUTHORITY

DR. WALLACE: You keep preaching that teens should never run away from home. Would you still feel this way if a teenage girl was constantly being sexually molested by her stepfather? I think not. — Nameless, Little Rock, Ark.

NAMELESS: Running away is never the solution to a problem, even one as serious as you describe. If the girl does not get the help she needs from her mother, she should contact a school counselor, administrator, or teacher and ask for help. School personnel know how to handle problems of sexual abuse by a family member.

The stepfather needs professional care and, hopefully, he will receive it and start to heal while serving time behind bars.

YOUR ANSWER IS BETTER THAN MINE

DR. WALLACE: A teenage girl was receiving unwanted letters from a guy she had been dating even after she wrote and told him to stop writing to her. You told her to throw away all future letters unopened.

I've got a better answer. Simply encourage the young woman to mark "Refused" on the unopened letter and return it to the letter carrier. That way the guy will get the message that it will be a waste of time and money to write more letters to her.

I had a similar problem, and after two "refused" letters, his unwanted mail stopped coming. — Mom, Rock Island, Ill.

MOM: Indeed, your answer is better than mine. Thanks for sharing it with our teen readers.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Rob Bertholf