DR. WALLACE: My aunt on my mother's side lost her husband unexpectedly over a month ago. It was very sad because he was still a young man, and before his passing, he did not have any outward sign of illness at all.

My aunt was devastated when this happened and I recall her being extremely emotional during the funeral and reception. She wore black clothes, and I noticed that she wore a black veil over her face during the entire evening.

The other day, my girlfriend and I were walking through our local mall and to my tremendous surprise. I saw this aunt walking across a rather wide hallway in the opposite direction and she was looking into the store windows as she passed by. She did not notice me at all, and what I found extremely surprising was that she was still wearing the veil! I couldn't believe it! I found it so odd that she's still wearing the veil now in public, several weeks after her husband's passing.

When I got home, I told my mother about this, but she told me not to say anything to anyone else and to leave my aunt alone unless my aunt were to make contact with me first. Do you think this is normal? — She's Wearing the Veil in Public Now, via email

SHE'S WEARING THE VEIL IN PUBLIC NOW: First of all, everyone grieves in their own way and it's impossible for you or me to know what's going through her mind. It appears she is still deeply in grief, and each individual indeed tends to grieve in their own unique way.

I agree with your mother's position that you and your family members should give your aunt space and not make any comments to her about her veil or question her in any way as to why she's still wearing it, even in public. It's widely known and accepted that losing a spouse or an extremely close family member is one of the most stressful and potentially life-altering events that we human beings go through. Take the high road and say nothing, even to your friends at school or to others who didn't witness her that day. The way I view this, it's her business and you don't want to point it out to others, as if you are making a spectacle out of her decision.

MY FATHER SAID NO "UNACCEPTABLE INSTRUMENTS" IN OUR HOME

DR. WALLACE: As a 16-year-old boy I'm always looking to try new things and some friends and I want to try to start a band. We all like the same kind of music and at least a few of us believe we have basic music talent.

I told my mother and father about this the other day and my father said he wouldn't have a problem with it as long as I was playing what he called an "acceptable instrument!" When I asked him what an acceptable instrument was, he said something that wouldn't make a lot of noise at our house or in our garage. I pressed him on this and he said no loud, screeching electric guitars, and no drum sets! He said a piano would be ok because it's not too loud and sounds nice.

I do want to learn how to play the electric guitar, but apparently, I'm not going to be allowed to practice at home, and I think this is going to crimp my possibilities of learning how to play my instrument. I don't think it's fair that my father is making these demands. What can I do about it? — My Father Has a Closed Mind to Music, via email

MY FATHER HAS A CLOSED MIND TO MUSIC: If you can afford to get an old or second-hand acoustic guitar, you could still practice playing that in your house, or in your room, without making too much sound. Beyond that, playing an electric guitar that is not plugged into an amplifier might still allow you to practice somewhat at home, even though you won't get the benefit of understanding in real time the tone emanating from your instrument, like in an actual performance setting.

Any band that wants to rehearse must face the challenge of finding a suitable location to do so. To do this, they have to find a spot where drums can be played, guitars can be plugged in and so forth. Even a lead singer or backup singers need to practice with microphones.

My advice is not be dissuaded by your father's conditions. He is simply worried about noise at your house, but he's not telling you that you can't play an instrument or perhaps join a band with your friends. Talk to the others you're planning to start this group with and have everyone think carefully about where you can go to regularly rehearse. Hopefully, you can practice at home without making a lot of noise, but you may also have opportunities to go visit some of your other bandmates who have better places to practice, perhaps with parents who are a little less restrictive of musical sounds.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: benjamin lehman at Unsplash