DR. WALLACE: I'm a junior in high school, and I play sports. Two of my teammates often invite me out with them when they go on double dates with their current girlfriends. One guy has been with his girlfriend for almost a year, and they seem really close and tight. My other friend seems like he's plodding along in his relationship but doesn't seem that interested in it.

So what I find strange is that I'm often invited to tag along with these two couples when they go out to movies, hang out at the mall or go to various date night events. It's so odd, and I often feel self-conscious, like I'm a "fifth wheel" since I'm the only single among two couples!

A couple of times I tried it, but I couldn't get past the feeling of the awkwardness that typically ensued. The last time I got invited, I tried to turn my one friend down, but he literally kept insisting that I go out with them. He's the one that's not so close with his girlfriend. Then, during that evening, I actually think I figured out what may be going on. It appears to me that he is secretly trying to get me interested in his girlfriend, and also get his girlfriend interested in me. I think he's hoping I will start dating her, as this would relieve him of perhaps an ugly breakup with her.

What should I do about this situation? Should I say anything to him about my suspicions? I'm not positive about this, but the longer I watched what was going on around me after I had this thought, the more convinced I became that this actually is what he is doing. — Beyond Awkward Being the Fifth, via email

BEYOND AWKWARD BEING THE FIFTH: To me there is a simple answer, and that is to not be drawn into participating any further as a fifth wheel. You can still hang out with your friends and be polite with them, but don't go as an unbalanced extra on their date night outings — unless you're balancing the equation by bringing a date of your own!

Your assumptions could indeed be correct, given how much he has apparently pressured you to attend these events. But on the other hand, there's always a chance that your hunch is not entirely correct. Therefore, my advice is to say nothing either way to your friend, as it will avoid any drama, and thank him whenever he invites you, but decline politely and explain you have other plans — which you will, because you'll be doing something else while those two couples go out.

SHOULD I JUST AVOID HIM DESPITE OUR MUTUAL INTERESTS?

DR. WALLACE: As a 17-year-old girl who has not had a great track record with her dating relationships, I'm always looking to make improvements and find better potential dates going forward.

Recently, I met a guy that I feel a really strong connection with. We like so many things in common, yet he is absolutely not my type physically, and I don't have any romantic feelings for him at all. What should I do about this? I don't want to send the wrong message, and part of me thinks it's just better to avoid him entirely going forward. — My Connection Here Is Not Romantic, via email

MY CONNECTION HERE IS NOT ROMANTIC: My advice is to do the opposite of your last comment! By this, I mean you should absolutely continue to have conversations with him and share interesting discussions about common areas and things you both enjoy.

There's no reason to feel like there should be any pressure for you to ask him out, or for him to ask you out, so don't be afraid to make a new friend, even if you're not planning any romantic future between the two of you. Good friends are all valuable and add texture and enjoyment to one's life. By hanging out and enjoying common interests, the two of you may at some point in the future be able to introduce each other to new potential romantic partners if the opportunity presents itself.

If he does happen to ask you out, and you're sure you don't want to accept, be prepared with an effective, heartfelt answer that won't make him feel overly self-conscious. Perhaps mention that he's such a good friend to you, and that you truly enjoy the status of your friendship exactly where it's at today. A comment like this does not use the word "no" but instead reinforces the friendship. If that happens, and as time goes by, assuming you're able to maintain the friendship, you might be able to introduce him to other girls at an appropriate future time. That would solidify your message even more strongly. Simultaneously, it will demonstrate to him your friendship and that you have his best interests at heart.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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