DR. WALLACE: I'm a pretty big kid for an eighth grader, but at my core, I'm not tough or a fighter.

I've seen some bullies at our school bother other kids that are smaller than me, and I always worry that they may come for me someday. So far, nothing has happened.

Most of the other kids who are bullied just take it and don't say anything, even to our school principal. But I did see one rather small guy fight back, and he got a few good punches in even though he got knocked down eventually. Both he and the bully got suspended for a week.

I'm not really the type to fight back, and I certainly don't want to be suspended for a week. What can I do to be prepared if the time ever comes for me? — Planning Ahead Just in Case

PLANNING AHEAD JUST IN CASE: I feel your best course of action regarding this subjec would be to adopt your own "zero tolerance" policy.

This means that if you do find yourself bullied, whether physically, verbally or mentally, don't plan to stay quiet and let it fester.

Plan who you will speak to about this if it occurs. It could be a teacher, a principal or person in school management or even your parents to begin with. Think through who you would speak to first so you can take immediate action if needed.

Having this well thought out in advance should put your mind at ease. I hope you won't have to deal with bullying or any other untoward behavior.

WE DRIFTED APART, BUT NOW I FEEL TERRIBLE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16, and a girl who has been one of my best friends is also 16. For a while, we were really close; we did many things together and truly enjoyed each other's company.

But this past October, her behavior started becoming quite erratic. She would randomly miss days at school and then not talk about why she didn't attend. She also at times made plans to see me or spend time with me after school and then wouldn't show up without notifying me at all.

A couple of times, I asked her what was going on with her, and she would just say she didn't want to go into detail about it.

So as October turned into November, I stopped contacting her or spending much time with her. She only reached out to me one time, and I told her I was busy. Since then, I haven't heard much from her even though I see her in school occasionally.

I heard this past week from another student that my former close friend is apparently having problems at home.

Even though I don't know what the problems are, I'm starting to think I may have been too hasty in my judgment of her. It's possible there's something going on with one or both of her parents that is causing her difficulties. Now I feel terrible. Is there anything I could do to help her, or would it be better for me to just keep my distance? — She Used To Be a Close Friend, via email

SHE USED TO BE A CLOSE FRIEND: I would definitely reach out to her. Don't think about how embarrassed you may be to contact her; think instead about how she might be feeling and what she may be going through.

If you were in her situation, you'd likely feel better if a friend showed concern for you.

Approach her, smile and tell her that you've missed spending time with her and see if you can slowly get her to reengage with you. Even if she doesn't take you up on your offer right away, look her in the eyes and tell her that you care about her and that you're available anytime she would like to talk about anything at all.

Being there for her in this manner may provide her the confidence to contact you if and when she becomes ready to do so.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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